Well in one of Frank's posts he mentioned that he is embarassing to take out in public. He is not wrong on that one. At times it is an embarassment that I'm not sure I can escape. I wonder at times if strangers remember me from their anonymous encounters with us in stores. Here are a few of the wretched things Frank has said and done in public. Now keep in mind these are just a few!
Many year ago while shopping in a local Rite-Aid store I was one aisle away from Frank (which I should know better than to let him out of my eyesight) when he came swaggering up to me. He was walking very bowlegged and acting like he had a full blown fire between his legs. While waddling, swaggering, and bowlegged bobbling towards me he says in a VERY loud voice "Honey I think the rash is spreading! Where do they sell the yeast infection cream?"
Another memorable one was when walking thru our local Wally World he sings every damn song. Now I don't mean quietly and in tune. I am talking at the top of his damn lungs, with a southern twang, and so off key I am sure there were dogs miles away howling along. Did he stop when face to face with the poor lady who checked us out? Oh hell no! He kept going. And she smiled and said "It's always good to see people enjoy themselves and have fun." Like I needed her to encourage his ass!
One that got me and the kids walking quickly away from him was when on a grocery trip I sent him off to get some soda. I knew he would get a few 2liters but didn't imagine that he would also grab some toilet paper while over that way. How did I know he picked up toilet paper as well? Well, the kids and I heard an odd noise. Like a thump, thump, thump, thump. A few moments apart in the thumping but a very paced thumping. As we all turned around at the same time we see Frank. With his arms loaded down with 2liters of soad, kicking a HUGE 24 pack of toilet paper down the freaking aisle! I was horrified and we turned to get away from him as quickly as possible. But then reality set in and we all knew that not only would he chase us down while kicking the huge pack of toilet paper down aisles but that soon he would be calling our names! We had no choice but to go closer to him and make him stop!
My all time most horrifying time in public?
Once again walking the Wally World, he looks at me innocently and asks in his loud tone of smugness "Remember that time the police arrested you for abusing me?" Naturally my mouth fell open and I swatted his arm and said "Shut the hell up!" which only made him quip "You know if you keep hitting me they could arrest you again." I simply could not walk fast enough trying to escape him for I knew he would not let it go...which he didn't until the kids were almost breathless from laughing so hard.
Some other things he likes to do in public?
Hide behind aisles to leap out and holler "Boo" as I turn the corner.
Squat down in a very dramatic way to scratch himself. Yes, there!
Walk like he has a MAJOR disability and make insane faces to match.
In furniture stores, he leaps onto the beds. Not just lay on them, leap onto them.
Gosh, I think I have blocked all the other things from my memory. I know there are more, just my mind won't let them escape from memory. Thank goodness!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
By request...What's not to like about Frank
This could so easily get out of control and very quickly. I find myself sitting here wondering if I should be a smart ass or not. So I will go with the not.
We have been together 16 years and married for 14 of those. Naturally there are good things and bad, for both of us.
His procrastination bugs the poopies out of me. However, it is a trait that I have come to love about him. His procrastination is him. Frank does not stress out about anything, and when I say anything I mean ANYTHING! I have no damn idea how it is possible, but he does it. So in turn, it's not something that bothers me but it's something that I envy and that in turn causes it to bother me. So I'm not sure it is a bad thing, just something I am jealous of.
Other than that, well, that's it. I'm not saying that my honey does not have his flaws, but do I want to really sit here and think of what they are? Not really. I would hate to think that he would do that to me. And I honestly try to do to others what I would want them to do for me.
For any of the things that Frank does that cause me a tinge of irritation, there are so many more that I appreciate and look forward to.
The way he looks at me even when he's mad.
The way he holds me to his chest and rests his chin on my head while hugging me.
The way he says my name.
The way he smells. (Most of the time! lmfao)
His smile.
His compassion.
His love.
The children we created together.
The life we built.
The name he gave to me.
All of him.
But not his fucking cat! That damn thing is honest to god trying to kill me and I swear it! I see the evil intent in his eyes right before he runs between my legs as I try to take the first step downstairs. But I'll always be nice to the damn cat. Why? Because Patches shares my love for Frank, even if the cat does try to kill me.
So in the end, there is nothing that Frank does or is that I dislike to the point that I would ever even think of changing.
We have been together 16 years and married for 14 of those. Naturally there are good things and bad, for both of us.
His procrastination bugs the poopies out of me. However, it is a trait that I have come to love about him. His procrastination is him. Frank does not stress out about anything, and when I say anything I mean ANYTHING! I have no damn idea how it is possible, but he does it. So in turn, it's not something that bothers me but it's something that I envy and that in turn causes it to bother me. So I'm not sure it is a bad thing, just something I am jealous of.
Other than that, well, that's it. I'm not saying that my honey does not have his flaws, but do I want to really sit here and think of what they are? Not really. I would hate to think that he would do that to me. And I honestly try to do to others what I would want them to do for me.
For any of the things that Frank does that cause me a tinge of irritation, there are so many more that I appreciate and look forward to.
The way he looks at me even when he's mad.
The way he holds me to his chest and rests his chin on my head while hugging me.
The way he says my name.
The way he smells. (Most of the time! lmfao)
His smile.
His compassion.
His love.
The children we created together.
The life we built.
The name he gave to me.
All of him.
But not his fucking cat! That damn thing is honest to god trying to kill me and I swear it! I see the evil intent in his eyes right before he runs between my legs as I try to take the first step downstairs. But I'll always be nice to the damn cat. Why? Because Patches shares my love for Frank, even if the cat does try to kill me.
So in the end, there is nothing that Frank does or is that I dislike to the point that I would ever even think of changing.
I feel as though I should blog
I just have no damn clue what to blog about. No really interesting stories about work. Not much happening on the home front. No crazy relatives to blog about.
Could it be that things are normal right now? I just so don't see that being the case around here!
If things change, I'll blog.
Shit, now I'm like Frank! Telling people I have nothing to blog about as I sit here and type. It's like my brain is saying "Stop typing. Stop typing." But my fingers just keep on going. Maybe they just need their exercise. After all, I spent a small fortune learing transcription and how to type a million miles a minute. So why not use that?
See? Still typing! WTF? I'll just blame Frank's ass for this one. Damn man of mine!
Could it be that things are normal right now? I just so don't see that being the case around here!
If things change, I'll blog.
Shit, now I'm like Frank! Telling people I have nothing to blog about as I sit here and type. It's like my brain is saying "Stop typing. Stop typing." But my fingers just keep on going. Maybe they just need their exercise. After all, I spent a small fortune learing transcription and how to type a million miles a minute. So why not use that?
See? Still typing! WTF? I'll just blame Frank's ass for this one. Damn man of mine!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Why do I relay?
In 2003 my mother was diagnosed with Endometrial cancer. She had to undergo a hysterectomy which was painful and difficult for her. Tests following the surgery showed that she was cancer free.
Not even a year later in 2004 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. This time it was a little more agressive. She had to endure another surgery to remove the cancer cells in her breast and then many treatments of radiation. Not even half way thru her treatment cycles she showed me why it was so painful. The memory of the pained look on her face as she slowly lowered her bra strap will always be in my mind as the moment I realized I HAD to do something.
The radiation had caused the skin on her breast to become burned. With the exception of the still healing scar, her breast was black. She said it felt like a torturing sunburn that there was no escape from. Just having her clothing brush up against the skin caused agonizing pain. The tears I can't forget. The ache in her words, the pain in her voice, and the desperation in her hug.
Three years later she is still cancer free. She will always have to see an oncologist for testing, but now it's down to yearly appointments.
If you can't be apart of a Relay for Life team, help support them in any way possible if you can. Nobody volunteers to get cancer yet millions volunteer to fight it. We can't stop until cancer is no longer a threatening word. Until then, I will relay.
I relay for my mother.
I relay for the mother-in-law I lost to cancer before I got to meet her.
I relay for the health of my children.
I relay for me.
I relay for you.
I relay so that one day cancer won't be a horrifying experience.
I relay for a cure that is sure to come.
Not even a year later in 2004 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. This time it was a little more agressive. She had to endure another surgery to remove the cancer cells in her breast and then many treatments of radiation. Not even half way thru her treatment cycles she showed me why it was so painful. The memory of the pained look on her face as she slowly lowered her bra strap will always be in my mind as the moment I realized I HAD to do something.
The radiation had caused the skin on her breast to become burned. With the exception of the still healing scar, her breast was black. She said it felt like a torturing sunburn that there was no escape from. Just having her clothing brush up against the skin caused agonizing pain. The tears I can't forget. The ache in her words, the pain in her voice, and the desperation in her hug.
Three years later she is still cancer free. She will always have to see an oncologist for testing, but now it's down to yearly appointments.
If you can't be apart of a Relay for Life team, help support them in any way possible if you can. Nobody volunteers to get cancer yet millions volunteer to fight it. We can't stop until cancer is no longer a threatening word. Until then, I will relay.
I relay for my mother.
I relay for the mother-in-law I lost to cancer before I got to meet her.
I relay for the health of my children.
I relay for me.
I relay for you.
I relay so that one day cancer won't be a horrifying experience.
I relay for a cure that is sure to come.
All about the Relay
The Relay for Life that our team is apart of was this last weekend. The actual Relay had it's opening lap at 9:00am Saturday and then closing ceremony and final lap were at 9:00am Sunday. Lemme tell ya, the hours inbetween were dang cold! The overnight hours were the worst! It got below freezing as the ice on everything proved in the wee morning hours.
Thank goodness we had a camper to help shelter the kids overnight for a few hours. Aside from the four hours we spent in the camper, we wore darn near everything we owned and snuggled under blankets.
The goal for our Relay, which has several teams apart of it, was to raise $90,000 by the end of the 24 hour period. Now, fundraising starts in January so the goal is not completely unrealistic. Last year we finished the Relay with a grand total of $73,000 being raised for the 9 month period.
Going into the Relay weekend we had raised $70,000! So all we had to do was raise $20,000 in 24 hours. Not super hard as long as we all kept at it and stayed creative.
Our team did our usual baked goods sale, we had a Miss Relay (Frank rocked it and helped our team out a bunch, thank you sweetie), and ran a "jail". The jail turned out to be something super fun and very lucrative. All one had to do was pay us a $1 donation and we would "lock up" the person of their choosing. Then once the "prisoner" was in the jail cell, they had to raise $5 bail money to be released. A fun idea that led to an amazing amount of donations!
All said and done, once we were unfrozen, our team contributed a total so far of just over $7,000! At closing cermony time, and donations are still to come in the next few months, our Relay group raised just over $100,000!!! Going above and beyond all of our expectations!
While we are doing our part to help fight cancer and fund research, I hope that everybody will do their part in donating. We simply can't stop doing everything we can until cancer is stopped. Every single penny counts.
Thank goodness we had a camper to help shelter the kids overnight for a few hours. Aside from the four hours we spent in the camper, we wore darn near everything we owned and snuggled under blankets.
The goal for our Relay, which has several teams apart of it, was to raise $90,000 by the end of the 24 hour period. Now, fundraising starts in January so the goal is not completely unrealistic. Last year we finished the Relay with a grand total of $73,000 being raised for the 9 month period.
Going into the Relay weekend we had raised $70,000! So all we had to do was raise $20,000 in 24 hours. Not super hard as long as we all kept at it and stayed creative.
Our team did our usual baked goods sale, we had a Miss Relay (Frank rocked it and helped our team out a bunch, thank you sweetie), and ran a "jail". The jail turned out to be something super fun and very lucrative. All one had to do was pay us a $1 donation and we would "lock up" the person of their choosing. Then once the "prisoner" was in the jail cell, they had to raise $5 bail money to be released. A fun idea that led to an amazing amount of donations!
All said and done, once we were unfrozen, our team contributed a total so far of just over $7,000! At closing cermony time, and donations are still to come in the next few months, our Relay group raised just over $100,000!!! Going above and beyond all of our expectations!
While we are doing our part to help fight cancer and fund research, I hope that everybody will do their part in donating. We simply can't stop doing everything we can until cancer is stopped. Every single penny counts.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Last & Spot, your bill is ready
Holy shit you two boys! I just got the phone bill...you two owe my ass! Three collect phone calls...do you even want to guess how much you two boys owe me? Holy fucking shit! Absolutely livid...then I read Frank's blog. How the hell am I supposed to stay mad now?
Friday, September 7, 2007
The worst week with the best husband
Last weekend was super, duper great after a crappy start. I pulled a double shift on Friday so that I could have Saturday off and go back to school shopping with the kids and hubby. I get home about 3:30am and crawl into bed after unwinding a bit. I think it was like 4:30am or so. Then I hear a tiny whisper "When are we going shopping?"
Peeking at the clock I see it's only 8am, so I smile at the excited teenager and tell her in a few hours. Skip ahead to 10am and repeat the same tiny whisper "When are we going shopping?"
Well hell, I can't kill her enthusiasm so I tell her to make sure her brothers are up and I'll get Daddy up.
We hit the road before 11 and don't get home until just after 8pm. TONS of shopping bags with more than enough crap for three kids to go back to school. I'm off to bed because I had to be at work twelve hours from then.
Work my usual nine hour shift on Sunday and then come home and do about ten loads of laundry for the back to school stuff. See, I told you that we bought way too much!
Then off to work on Monday with a tiny tickle in my chest. Labor Day Monday in a restaurant...CRAZY!!! But it was a good day. The hubby even finished up the laundry for me while I was at work.
Tuesday...oh hell! I head to work after waking up feeling like crap. It's our time for our "Team Meeting" which means I have to gather paperwork, drive an hour away, sit thru a meeting, and then drive back home. I barely made it home because I felt like such poopie I had a wicked time keeping my eyes open. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stop coughing. My eyes were watering. Wretched day that extended into the night.
Wednesday I took the day off work, mostly because I was up the whole night before coughing and tossing my cookies. I laid at home all day wondering how soon I would just die from being so miserably sick. Hubby of mine brought home some medicine for me, thank goodness! Then the most precious thing happened.
He walked me to bed after giving me some medicine to help me sleep, layed a cool towel on my head, and massaged my aching body as I fell asleep! And it is with little surprise that I awoke feeling so much better. While not back to normal yet, with the loving care of an amazing husband I feel much better...and can almost breathe normal again.
Two months in a row with two colds? What's that about? I'm never sick! If it happens next month I really hope the hubby is still patient with me.
Well, I'm off to rest some more and moderate the argument with the girl and the hubby. She wormed her way into playing the game he is heavily addicted to and now he's kinda pouting but does not have the heart to shove her off his computer. Shhhhhh...don't tell him that I am letting his soft side out.
Peeking at the clock I see it's only 8am, so I smile at the excited teenager and tell her in a few hours. Skip ahead to 10am and repeat the same tiny whisper "When are we going shopping?"
Well hell, I can't kill her enthusiasm so I tell her to make sure her brothers are up and I'll get Daddy up.
We hit the road before 11 and don't get home until just after 8pm. TONS of shopping bags with more than enough crap for three kids to go back to school. I'm off to bed because I had to be at work twelve hours from then.
Work my usual nine hour shift on Sunday and then come home and do about ten loads of laundry for the back to school stuff. See, I told you that we bought way too much!
Then off to work on Monday with a tiny tickle in my chest. Labor Day Monday in a restaurant...CRAZY!!! But it was a good day. The hubby even finished up the laundry for me while I was at work.
Tuesday...oh hell! I head to work after waking up feeling like crap. It's our time for our "Team Meeting" which means I have to gather paperwork, drive an hour away, sit thru a meeting, and then drive back home. I barely made it home because I felt like such poopie I had a wicked time keeping my eyes open. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stop coughing. My eyes were watering. Wretched day that extended into the night.
Wednesday I took the day off work, mostly because I was up the whole night before coughing and tossing my cookies. I laid at home all day wondering how soon I would just die from being so miserably sick. Hubby of mine brought home some medicine for me, thank goodness! Then the most precious thing happened.
He walked me to bed after giving me some medicine to help me sleep, layed a cool towel on my head, and massaged my aching body as I fell asleep! And it is with little surprise that I awoke feeling so much better. While not back to normal yet, with the loving care of an amazing husband I feel much better...and can almost breathe normal again.
Two months in a row with two colds? What's that about? I'm never sick! If it happens next month I really hope the hubby is still patient with me.
Well, I'm off to rest some more and moderate the argument with the girl and the hubby. She wormed her way into playing the game he is heavily addicted to and now he's kinda pouting but does not have the heart to shove her off his computer. Shhhhhh...don't tell him that I am letting his soft side out.
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