One Question Wednesday responses

TRM asks: "Of all the ways you've changed in the 18 years we've been married, what change are you most proud of?"

I think I am most proud of the growth I have done as a person. I used to be fairly self-centered, overly opinionated, and lacked the ability to accept that people were human and had flaws. I would get stressed out and often cranky but unable to not spew it forth on others. I threw all my emotions out into the world and onto others.

I'm not saying I am a saint now by any means but I do believe I have gotten much better at being a better, more compassionate person to be around. I try to put others first and consider their feelings before I just let the craziness out of my head. I try to be respectful of others and their feelings. I sometimes do a better and sometimes I falter. That is just part of my "say what you feel" personality.

I am still a work in progress, but I honestly believe my progress is going well. If I had a download bar, I'd say it is about half way complete. Now just to work on the part of me that expects the part of my husband to know what I want without me giving him a tiny hint. One day, until then he's gotta keep on guessing!



Josie asks: "You have had some wonderful family nights at your house, what would you say are the most endearing, and the most challenging personality traits of each family member, including yourself?"

I can pretty easily list my entire family. Myself? That one will be a challenge so let's start with the family!

Frank - His most endearing quality is that he truly is the warrior of those he loves. He would fight to the death for any of his family members or friends without having to be asked. He holds people close to his heart and truly cherishes them. Shhh...don't let him know his secret has just been outed!

His most challenging quality is his temper. I often refer to it as his "old man crankiness." I'm not sure if he notices it or not when his inner beast escapes, but it's not all that cute. The myth of a red-headed temper must be similar to his red-bearded temper. The beast does not surface often but when it does I do my best to feed it a cookie, give it a hug, and tuck it into bed for the night.

Princess, our daughter - Her most endearing quality is her smile. She has an amazing smile that can light up any room. I love when her mock-pout turns into a beaming smile with a giggle behind it. She has a great sense of humor and warm up chilly days with her smile. When it's family time, the boys all sit around and crack jokes at everybody's expense. I often wait for her smile to show and her laughter to follow. When she was only 1/2 hour old, she graced her first ever smile upon her Grandpa and instantly he was smitten with a loving bond that has only grown stronger and stronger over the last 19 years. It is that same smile that I will miss when she goes away to college.

Her most challenging quality is much like her father's, her temper. She is always on the go and super busy in life which leaves her often stressed about lack of time or how to handle things if they don't turn out the way she envisioned them. I have faith that she will one day gain the knowledge of just how truly capable she is of doing everything she sets her mind to and that discovery will lead to a peace of mind she sometimes seems to be chasing. Her inner will and drive are simply amazing for somebody her age, once she discovers that...she will be much more relaxed in life.

Bear, our oldest son and middle child- His most endearing quality is his love. He has an open heart of love, joy, happiness, and humor. He is absolutely a kind soul. I've always tried to keep the kids pretty equal. I'd take them out shopping together and then I'd take them separately. Ever since he was able to talk, anytime it was Bear's turn to go out with him Mom as just the two of us he'd always question "What about the others?" He'd always be concerned about what if they wanted to go, what would they like us to bring them back, or what would they like. Even now as a 17 year old young-man, he quite often puts others first.

Bear's most challenging quality is his lack of confidence, although that is growing. He simply has no idea how smart, funny, and talented he is. I can see in his face sometimes that he questions himself and does not believe in himself the way that he should. He is capable of anything and one day he will discover it. Until then, I will be his cheerleader to push him forward.

DJ, our youngest son and youngest child- His most endearing quality is his complete lack of being able to be stressed about anything! He is a gentle, old soul in a 14 year old's body. He just does not seem to have the ability to be worried or stressed out about anything, aside from frustration over video games. DJ once got detention. He was not doing as the teacher wanted him, he was talking during a time of requested silent work. After repeated warning, the teacher sent DJ to sit in the hallway. DJ stood up, walked towards the front of the classroom, saluted the teacher, and then proceeded into the hallway to relax. Did I say saluted? Yes, he saluted the teacher! It was not done as a symbol of disrespect DJ said, it was just the opposite. It was more of a "Well played" salute to his teacher, or so he explained. Was he worried over his parents being upset about his detention? Not one bit!

His most challenging quality is without a doubt his complete lack of being able to be stressed about anything! He is so care-free in his life that it is often difficult to understand just why he is the way he is. I envy the fact that he surely will never have an ulcer but as his mother it frustrates me to no end trying to communicate something when he truly does not see what is so wrong. Don't get me wrong, he is not care-free with his actions and is a fairly responsible 14 year old who even has a job, he's just a care-free spirit.

Oh lord I have run out of family member! That means it's time to talk about me...YIKES!

My most endearing quality? I'm slightly stumped so thought I would cheat a bit and ask the husband. His response? "Your bitchiness!" On second thought I won't cheat but my most challenging quality might just be the fact that I'm about to go whoop his a$$ for saying that without even laughing a tiny little bit when he said it!

Ok, real business now. My most endearing quality, I hope, is my drive. While some might see it as a not so endearing quality because I can get lost in it, my drive is what moves me to make each day better and strive for a brighter tomorrow. It is my drive to see people as not what they appear but to give them the benefit of the doubt. It is my drive to give my all to those around me and strive for a better tomorrow. It is my drive to give all of me and everything that I am for the betterment of my family. It is my drive to propel me into the world and learn all I can so that I can share it with others.

My most challenging quality, and Frank is correct on this one, is my stubbornness! When I dig my feet in, I can not be moved by logic, rationality, or persuasion. It is a terrible flaw in my personality at times but it is a part of me. It has had it's good moments in time but more often than not it has had it's bad moments. When the bull is full out stubborn, stay clear and stand back until it's teeth are no longer showing, the slobber has worn away, and the tail is no longer swooshing back and forth. Not to fear, the beast will return to it's cage on it's own or Frank, the lion tamer, will step in and coax it back into it's slumber. I often like to refer to my stubbornness as "being female" but that is just a nice way of saying "I'm in a bitchy mood, keep moving and nobody gets hurt."

Thank you both for your questions, I tried to be as open and honest as I could. I honestly enjoyed the questions and look forward to next week. :)

Now, let's hit "publish" without rereading what I wrote! I'm feeling brave tonight!