So today was my ultrasound and I was an obedient little patient. I was told to drink 32 ounces of water one hour prior to my ultrasound so that my bladder would be pretty full and make the images easier to see.
One hour prior to my ultrasound I had to pee like you would not believe! So I did what I had to do since there was no way I would make it another hour on that bladder. After much relief, I felt guilty so I drank about 26 ounces more.
Skip ahead one hour, I'm sitting in the waiting room and in so much need of a potty break that I was worried I was going to wet my pants!
Finally, the ultrasound tech comes to get me and I told her that I was feeling pretty uncomfortable and my bladder was super full even though I had just gone an hour before. She said that she would try to be fast so that I could go potty and feel better but it was important to have a full bladder so that imaging would be easier.
I unbuttoned my jeans, slid my pants down a little bit, and slowly eased back onto the table so that I would not wet myself right then and there. As I laid down, I noticed a huge bump in my belly and thought "Oh my lord is that my bladder poking up?"
Nancy, the technician, squirted some warm lube on my tummy and then looked to make sure she had put enough on ...then she laughed! "Honey, your bladder is definitely full. I can see it protruding upwards."
I told her I had been a good girl and drank the amount of water I had been told to drink. It was then that she told me that somebody my size should only drink 16-18 ounces for ultrasounds since I don't have enough excess tissue/fat in my body to help absorb it all. Well, that was news to me but did NOT help my dire feeling of "I have got to go!"
She very gently and very quickly took a few images all while giggling at how much my bladder was poking up. I honestly looked like I was a few months pregnant! After about five minutes, she happily informed me I could use the potty before we continued. Oh the relief!
The test results will be back next week but things did not appear too far out of the normal so she did not have to code it a "Hold and Read" which would have made me wait for the doctor to read the images.
In the past several years I've tried to get into shape and lose weight. My mind sees me as something other than the size 12 I am but my self-esteem is pretty high. I am comfortable in my skin and do not fret over what I eat or how much I eat. I know I need to work out so that I have more muscles, but I don't stress out over it. To hear somebody call me "small" completely made my day!
All in all, a good day so far. But now I have to tinkle again!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Happy Easter!
Feeling much better and just in time for Easter!
The family decided that since our daughter had to work 6am to 1pm on Easter, the Easter Bunny would visit after she got out of work.
I woke up at 6:20am...on my day off! Craziness. After failing miserably at getting back to sleep I got up and hung out in the upstairs living room while snuggled under a blankey and watched some TV. Bear woke up about 7:30am, walked into the living room to tell me "Happy Easter", strolled into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and pointed to the eggs to exclaim "I've found all the eggs. My job is done. Tell the others not to bother." Then he walked to the dining room table where all the filled baskets sat and as he wrapped his arms around all three baskets he declared "Dibs" on all three!
That was the start of a great family day. The princess came home from work and took her brothers shopping while my honey and I finished making Easter dinner. Then before they got home, the Easter Bunny arrived and hid all the eggs.
Bear did much better at finding eggs in the morning than he did later in the day but they all had fun. Unfortunately they were reminded once again that after Mrs. Bunny hides eggs, she promptly forgets where they heck she hid them. So during the game of "Hot/Cold" the kids were lead to dead ends with responses of "We already found that one." Huh, might need a notebook next year to draw a map and mark down the locations of all the eggs Mrs. Bunny hides.
Great meal, sweet laughs, and an amazing family. I love days like this. I took about a zillion photos of the kids coloring eggs and I'll have to figure out just how to get one or two onto the page just in case anybody thinks coloring eggs is just for little kids. My teenagers love it and it is something I look forward to doing with them for as many years as they will humor me in doing such.
The husband even bought a few extra sets of egg dye just in case the entire town showed up to color eggs so I'm thinking one day this summer I'll get it out and have a mid-summer Easter. Even if it's just an excuse to color eggs, we'll put them to good use in a nice potato salad.
Hope you all had a great day as well.
PS- Glitter eggs makes it super easy for kids to find them since they leave a "splatter" trail around their hidden nest. Gonna have to remember that for next year.
The family decided that since our daughter had to work 6am to 1pm on Easter, the Easter Bunny would visit after she got out of work.
I woke up at 6:20am...on my day off! Craziness. After failing miserably at getting back to sleep I got up and hung out in the upstairs living room while snuggled under a blankey and watched some TV. Bear woke up about 7:30am, walked into the living room to tell me "Happy Easter", strolled into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and pointed to the eggs to exclaim "I've found all the eggs. My job is done. Tell the others not to bother." Then he walked to the dining room table where all the filled baskets sat and as he wrapped his arms around all three baskets he declared "Dibs" on all three!
That was the start of a great family day. The princess came home from work and took her brothers shopping while my honey and I finished making Easter dinner. Then before they got home, the Easter Bunny arrived and hid all the eggs.
Bear did much better at finding eggs in the morning than he did later in the day but they all had fun. Unfortunately they were reminded once again that after Mrs. Bunny hides eggs, she promptly forgets where they heck she hid them. So during the game of "Hot/Cold" the kids were lead to dead ends with responses of "We already found that one." Huh, might need a notebook next year to draw a map and mark down the locations of all the eggs Mrs. Bunny hides.
Great meal, sweet laughs, and an amazing family. I love days like this. I took about a zillion photos of the kids coloring eggs and I'll have to figure out just how to get one or two onto the page just in case anybody thinks coloring eggs is just for little kids. My teenagers love it and it is something I look forward to doing with them for as many years as they will humor me in doing such.
The husband even bought a few extra sets of egg dye just in case the entire town showed up to color eggs so I'm thinking one day this summer I'll get it out and have a mid-summer Easter. Even if it's just an excuse to color eggs, we'll put them to good use in a nice potato salad.
Hope you all had a great day as well.
PS- Glitter eggs makes it super easy for kids to find them since they leave a "splatter" trail around their hidden nest. Gonna have to remember that for next year.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
In need of some rest, or more rest
Last Thursday I just didn't feel well. Then later that evening I walked downstairs and was overcome with a terribly horrific pain in my abdomen that crippled me for days. Unfortunately, I had work stuff to do so I used the mantra "If it is not better by Tuesday I will go to the doctor."
Well, it's Tuesday and I honestly could not handle the pain any longer. The doctor did not want me to go to the ER and get lost in their rush to handle patients so they worked me in at 3:30.
I left the hospital at 8:20 after taking two urine tests, three blood tests, and one CT scan.
Good news is I am indeed NOT pregnant although I almost died when they suggested such a thing.
I have one ultrasound left to go sometime tomorrow, atleast they are hoping it will be tomorrow.
Results so far, the pain is from a "somewhat large cyst on the left ovary rupturing." I love my doctor for using the term "somewhat large" without her even knowing that I suck at measurements!
The CT scan did show that I have a growth in my uterus of the non-baby type. The doctor is pretty sure it is a fibrous growth and not cancerous growth and the ultrasound will show for sure since the fibrous growths apparently look drastically different than cancerous growths.
All in all, stressful day and still in quite a bit of discomfort especially since the doctor had to press on my abdomen to try and locate the most painful spot. I've never seen this doctor before but I know I will see her again. She was very kind, very sympathetic, and very thorough. Her compassion and determination to get me healed was very kind.
I am exhausted and somewhat sore so I shall pass on the weekly OQW but will keep you posted on my progress towards good health.
Well, it's Tuesday and I honestly could not handle the pain any longer. The doctor did not want me to go to the ER and get lost in their rush to handle patients so they worked me in at 3:30.
I left the hospital at 8:20 after taking two urine tests, three blood tests, and one CT scan.
Good news is I am indeed NOT pregnant although I almost died when they suggested such a thing.
I have one ultrasound left to go sometime tomorrow, atleast they are hoping it will be tomorrow.
Results so far, the pain is from a "somewhat large cyst on the left ovary rupturing." I love my doctor for using the term "somewhat large" without her even knowing that I suck at measurements!
The CT scan did show that I have a growth in my uterus of the non-baby type. The doctor is pretty sure it is a fibrous growth and not cancerous growth and the ultrasound will show for sure since the fibrous growths apparently look drastically different than cancerous growths.
All in all, stressful day and still in quite a bit of discomfort especially since the doctor had to press on my abdomen to try and locate the most painful spot. I've never seen this doctor before but I know I will see her again. She was very kind, very sympathetic, and very thorough. Her compassion and determination to get me healed was very kind.
I am exhausted and somewhat sore so I shall pass on the weekly OQW but will keep you posted on my progress towards good health.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
OQW - The answers
Wednesday was a rough day and ended with me falling asleep in the living room chair, so OQW ends with my answers on Thursday. Sorry for the delay.
L asks What is your least favorite thing to do each and every day and why?
My absolute least favorite thing to do each day is "litter box partol." With three cats in the house I check their box daily to see if it needs scooped or not. It is a disgusting little job that seems to be all mine and it often makes me wonder if I could somehow potty train the three cats to use the potty. Then all I have to do is teach them to flush! Ahhh...that would be heaven!
The Ranting Monkey asks What is your favorite part of your job?
There are so many things that I absolutely love about my job, and that is an honest statement. If I was picking just one I think I would have to go with my co-workers. While all of them might not be in my favorites list, there are quite a few who I love spending time with. There are a couple who I share outside of work time with and love that. I have always been a fan of the manta "co-workers should not be your friends, it just leads to trouble" but there are two that I completely make an exception for. There are two that I consider my friends and the days I work with those two ladies are always my favorite days of the week.
Lily asks If you were to spend an entire year on a desserted Island, what 5 things would you not be able to live without?
A whole year? By myself? Holy moses I can barely make it a day by myself! I'd absolute have to have my phone so that I could call those I love and talk to them. I'd need to be able to make sure they were ok. I'd have to take my computer to entertain me during the times where my loved ones would not be able to chat on the phone. (Let's pray there is electricity on this island for my next one.) I'd have to have a charger for the first two items on my list so that I could have them them available to me the whole year. Eeek! Only two more items to bring with me and I'm not sure of which way to go!
Make it paradise by bringing sunscreen and a beach towel? Make it rustic by bringing food and drinks? I think I'll cheat and imagine that my deserted island is fully stocked up on food and beverages so that it is more of a "relaxing" deserted island. I would take my beach towel and sunscreen. If I am going to be away from civilization for a whole year I might as well come back tanned, relaxed, and ready to take on the world!
L asks What is your least favorite thing to do each and every day and why?
My absolute least favorite thing to do each day is "litter box partol." With three cats in the house I check their box daily to see if it needs scooped or not. It is a disgusting little job that seems to be all mine and it often makes me wonder if I could somehow potty train the three cats to use the potty. Then all I have to do is teach them to flush! Ahhh...that would be heaven!
The Ranting Monkey asks What is your favorite part of your job?
There are so many things that I absolutely love about my job, and that is an honest statement. If I was picking just one I think I would have to go with my co-workers. While all of them might not be in my favorites list, there are quite a few who I love spending time with. There are a couple who I share outside of work time with and love that. I have always been a fan of the manta "co-workers should not be your friends, it just leads to trouble" but there are two that I completely make an exception for. There are two that I consider my friends and the days I work with those two ladies are always my favorite days of the week.
Lily asks If you were to spend an entire year on a desserted Island, what 5 things would you not be able to live without?
A whole year? By myself? Holy moses I can barely make it a day by myself! I'd absolute have to have my phone so that I could call those I love and talk to them. I'd need to be able to make sure they were ok. I'd have to take my computer to entertain me during the times where my loved ones would not be able to chat on the phone. (Let's pray there is electricity on this island for my next one.) I'd have to have a charger for the first two items on my list so that I could have them them available to me the whole year. Eeek! Only two more items to bring with me and I'm not sure of which way to go!
Make it paradise by bringing sunscreen and a beach towel? Make it rustic by bringing food and drinks? I think I'll cheat and imagine that my deserted island is fully stocked up on food and beverages so that it is more of a "relaxing" deserted island. I would take my beach towel and sunscreen. If I am going to be away from civilization for a whole year I might as well come back tanned, relaxed, and ready to take on the world!
DWei asks For whatever reason you've been tasked with staying awake for 96 hours nonstop in the room you are currently in. You are not allowed to leave said room for any reason until the allotted time is over. How do you manage to stay awake using only the items in said room.
First off, let's just say this a truly evil thing to have happen since those who are close to me know that there are only two things in this world that turn me into a human being that is similar to a one-month old child with colic and that is sleep and food...or a lack thereof! Glad I am in my living room so that I can choose my computer and my stereo. I'd need my computer to keep my mind going by either playing my favorite game of all "Farm Frenzy" or to just come on here and tell you all how sleepy I am. I'd need my stereo so that I could use it to play music and inspire me to get up and move around so that I could re-energize my muscles to keep going. I will give a warning though, under no circumstances should anybody enter that room until those 96 hours have passed and I have been allowed to sleep. It would just be dangerous, and I'm talking walking into a cage of tigers who have not eaten in days and have been slapped around dangerous!
First off, let's just say this a truly evil thing to have happen since those who are close to me know that there are only two things in this world that turn me into a human being that is similar to a one-month old child with colic and that is sleep and food...or a lack thereof! Glad I am in my living room so that I can choose my computer and my stereo. I'd need my computer to keep my mind going by either playing my favorite game of all "Farm Frenzy" or to just come on here and tell you all how sleepy I am. I'd need my stereo so that I could use it to play music and inspire me to get up and move around so that I could re-energize my muscles to keep going. I will give a warning though, under no circumstances should anybody enter that room until those 96 hours have passed and I have been allowed to sleep. It would just be dangerous, and I'm talking walking into a cage of tigers who have not eaten in days and have been slapped around dangerous!
Jo-Anne asks Where you are mummy's girl or a daddy's girl????????????????
From the bottom of my heart I am a full blown daddy's girl! My father is my hero. He means everything to me. Even at this stage in life I know that if I fall down, he will be there to pick me back up and dust me off. My father lives several states away and we don't get to visit often but when we do it is something I cherish.
Thank you all for the wonderful questions and sorry I am a tad late in responding.
PS-I tried to make each person's name link to their blog except for My monkey man. His would not create a link. :(
From the bottom of my heart I am a full blown daddy's girl! My father is my hero. He means everything to me. Even at this stage in life I know that if I fall down, he will be there to pick me back up and dust me off. My father lives several states away and we don't get to visit often but when we do it is something I cherish.
Thank you all for the wonderful questions and sorry I am a tad late in responding.
PS-I tried to make each person's name link to their blog except for My monkey man. His would not create a link. :(
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
On a lighter note - OQW
I shall play along another week. Here's your chance to ask me one question and I shall answer it honestly on Wednesday.
Be warned, once you ask your question I shall in return as you to play along and respond to a question I ask you.
Be warned, once you ask your question I shall in return as you to play along and respond to a question I ask you.
A life well lived
It's been a rough work week so far and we are only two days in. Tomorrow will be the real rough day. Let's start at the beginning.
Monday I walk in as usual and say hello to each of my employees. One asks "Did Kortni talk to you?" Assuming that it regarded my conversation with her the previous night I replied that I had talked to her. Then I walked into the office and knew that I did not know what was going on.
"Harold died this morning."
I run a restaurant and we have our "regulars" who visit us at least once a day. They become family and we look forward to their visits, miss them when they are not there, grow concerned when they miss more than one day, and call their house if they miss too many days without warning us in advance. When you talk to these people all the time you get to know them and truly care for them. I talk to my "regulars" more than I talk to my own parents! I care for them and love them as more than just customers.
Harold, his son Lloyd, and Lloyd's wife Janet are people I always looked forward to visiting with. They are such a loving family and always so kind. If another customer was unkind to an employee, it was Lloyd and Harold who would come to our defense and set the offender straight. Being in customer service, we appreciate and love them for this because it is not something we can do ourselves. They are our heroes, our defenders, our crusaders.
An hour after Kortni broke the news to me, Lloyd and Janet came into the store. To be with friends. To be with family. To be comforted with hugs. To share tears.
They visited us twice yesterday and promised to be in today to give us the information for Harold's services. I kept waiting for Harold to walk in the doors behind them.
Today, Lloyd asked for a few items to place in Harold's casket so that he can take part of the restaurant he loved with him. I had already knew the request would be asked for and had another idea.
When Lloyd and Janet came in, Lloyd asked for the items and I told him I had something for Harold. I went into the office to get the item I hoped he would accept. A nametag that matches all of the employees except for a few changes. His name is bold in the middle but where it should say "Proud Member of ____" it said "A valued part of ___." Under his name where our nametags say our position, his says "Valued Guest."
The hug and tears told me it was appreciated.
Tomorrow, I say my goodbye to Harold and am very grateful to have Kortni going with me.
Monday I walk in as usual and say hello to each of my employees. One asks "Did Kortni talk to you?" Assuming that it regarded my conversation with her the previous night I replied that I had talked to her. Then I walked into the office and knew that I did not know what was going on.
"Harold died this morning."
I run a restaurant and we have our "regulars" who visit us at least once a day. They become family and we look forward to their visits, miss them when they are not there, grow concerned when they miss more than one day, and call their house if they miss too many days without warning us in advance. When you talk to these people all the time you get to know them and truly care for them. I talk to my "regulars" more than I talk to my own parents! I care for them and love them as more than just customers.
Harold, his son Lloyd, and Lloyd's wife Janet are people I always looked forward to visiting with. They are such a loving family and always so kind. If another customer was unkind to an employee, it was Lloyd and Harold who would come to our defense and set the offender straight. Being in customer service, we appreciate and love them for this because it is not something we can do ourselves. They are our heroes, our defenders, our crusaders.
An hour after Kortni broke the news to me, Lloyd and Janet came into the store. To be with friends. To be with family. To be comforted with hugs. To share tears.
They visited us twice yesterday and promised to be in today to give us the information for Harold's services. I kept waiting for Harold to walk in the doors behind them.
Today, Lloyd asked for a few items to place in Harold's casket so that he can take part of the restaurant he loved with him. I had already knew the request would be asked for and had another idea.
When Lloyd and Janet came in, Lloyd asked for the items and I told him I had something for Harold. I went into the office to get the item I hoped he would accept. A nametag that matches all of the employees except for a few changes. His name is bold in the middle but where it should say "Proud Member of ____" it said "A valued part of ___." Under his name where our nametags say our position, his says "Valued Guest."
The hug and tears told me it was appreciated.
Tomorrow, I say my goodbye to Harold and am very grateful to have Kortni going with me.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
One Question Wednesday responses
TRM asks: "Of all the ways you've changed in the 18 years we've been married, what change are you most proud of?"
I think I am most proud of the growth I have done as a person. I used to be fairly self-centered, overly opinionated, and lacked the ability to accept that people were human and had flaws. I would get stressed out and often cranky but unable to not spew it forth on others. I threw all my emotions out into the world and onto others.
I'm not saying I am a saint now by any means but I do believe I have gotten much better at being a better, more compassionate person to be around. I try to put others first and consider their feelings before I just let the craziness out of my head. I try to be respectful of others and their feelings. I sometimes do a better and sometimes I falter. That is just part of my "say what you feel" personality.
I am still a work in progress, but I honestly believe my progress is going well. If I had a download bar, I'd say it is about half way complete. Now just to work on the part of me that expects the part of my husband to know what I want without me giving him a tiny hint. One day, until then he's gotta keep on guessing!
Josie asks: "You have had some wonderful family nights at your house, what would you say are the most endearing, and the most challenging personality traits of each family member, including yourself?"
I can pretty easily list my entire family. Myself? That one will be a challenge so let's start with the family!
Frank - His most endearing quality is that he truly is the warrior of those he loves. He would fight to the death for any of his family members or friends without having to be asked. He holds people close to his heart and truly cherishes them. Shhh...don't let him know his secret has just been outed!
His most challenging quality is his temper. I often refer to it as his "old man crankiness." I'm not sure if he notices it or not when his inner beast escapes, but it's not all that cute. The myth of a red-headed temper must be similar to his red-bearded temper. The beast does not surface often but when it does I do my best to feed it a cookie, give it a hug, and tuck it into bed for the night.
Princess, our daughter - Her most endearing quality is her smile. She has an amazing smile that can light up any room. I love when her mock-pout turns into a beaming smile with a giggle behind it. She has a great sense of humor and warm up chilly days with her smile. When it's family time, the boys all sit around and crack jokes at everybody's expense. I often wait for her smile to show and her laughter to follow. When she was only 1/2 hour old, she graced her first ever smile upon her Grandpa and instantly he was smitten with a loving bond that has only grown stronger and stronger over the last 19 years. It is that same smile that I will miss when she goes away to college.
Her most challenging quality is much like her father's, her temper. She is always on the go and super busy in life which leaves her often stressed about lack of time or how to handle things if they don't turn out the way she envisioned them. I have faith that she will one day gain the knowledge of just how truly capable she is of doing everything she sets her mind to and that discovery will lead to a peace of mind she sometimes seems to be chasing. Her inner will and drive are simply amazing for somebody her age, once she discovers that...she will be much more relaxed in life.
Bear, our oldest son and middle child- His most endearing quality is his love. He has an open heart of love, joy, happiness, and humor. He is absolutely a kind soul. I've always tried to keep the kids pretty equal. I'd take them out shopping together and then I'd take them separately. Ever since he was able to talk, anytime it was Bear's turn to go out with him Mom as just the two of us he'd always question "What about the others?" He'd always be concerned about what if they wanted to go, what would they like us to bring them back, or what would they like. Even now as a 17 year old young-man, he quite often puts others first.
Bear's most challenging quality is his lack of confidence, although that is growing. He simply has no idea how smart, funny, and talented he is. I can see in his face sometimes that he questions himself and does not believe in himself the way that he should. He is capable of anything and one day he will discover it. Until then, I will be his cheerleader to push him forward.
DJ, our youngest son and youngest child- His most endearing quality is his complete lack of being able to be stressed about anything! He is a gentle, old soul in a 14 year old's body. He just does not seem to have the ability to be worried or stressed out about anything, aside from frustration over video games. DJ once got detention. He was not doing as the teacher wanted him, he was talking during a time of requested silent work. After repeated warning, the teacher sent DJ to sit in the hallway. DJ stood up, walked towards the front of the classroom, saluted the teacher, and then proceeded into the hallway to relax. Did I say saluted? Yes, he saluted the teacher! It was not done as a symbol of disrespect DJ said, it was just the opposite. It was more of a "Well played" salute to his teacher, or so he explained. Was he worried over his parents being upset about his detention? Not one bit!
His most challenging quality is without a doubt his complete lack of being able to be stressed about anything! He is so care-free in his life that it is often difficult to understand just why he is the way he is. I envy the fact that he surely will never have an ulcer but as his mother it frustrates me to no end trying to communicate something when he truly does not see what is so wrong. Don't get me wrong, he is not care-free with his actions and is a fairly responsible 14 year old who even has a job, he's just a care-free spirit.
Oh lord I have run out of family member! That means it's time to talk about me...YIKES!
My most endearing quality? I'm slightly stumped so thought I would cheat a bit and ask the husband. His response? "Your bitchiness!" On second thought I won't cheat but my most challenging quality might just be the fact that I'm about to go whoop his a$$ for saying that without even laughing a tiny little bit when he said it!
Ok, real business now. My most endearing quality, I hope, is my drive. While some might see it as a not so endearing quality because I can get lost in it, my drive is what moves me to make each day better and strive for a brighter tomorrow. It is my drive to see people as not what they appear but to give them the benefit of the doubt. It is my drive to give my all to those around me and strive for a better tomorrow. It is my drive to give all of me and everything that I am for the betterment of my family. It is my drive to propel me into the world and learn all I can so that I can share it with others.
My most challenging quality, and Frank is correct on this one, is my stubbornness! When I dig my feet in, I can not be moved by logic, rationality, or persuasion. It is a terrible flaw in my personality at times but it is a part of me. It has had it's good moments in time but more often than not it has had it's bad moments. When the bull is full out stubborn, stay clear and stand back until it's teeth are no longer showing, the slobber has worn away, and the tail is no longer swooshing back and forth. Not to fear, the beast will return to it's cage on it's own or Frank, the lion tamer, will step in and coax it back into it's slumber. I often like to refer to my stubbornness as "being female" but that is just a nice way of saying "I'm in a bitchy mood, keep moving and nobody gets hurt."
Thank you both for your questions, I tried to be as open and honest as I could. I honestly enjoyed the questions and look forward to next week. :)
Now, let's hit "publish" without rereading what I wrote! I'm feeling brave tonight!
I think I am most proud of the growth I have done as a person. I used to be fairly self-centered, overly opinionated, and lacked the ability to accept that people were human and had flaws. I would get stressed out and often cranky but unable to not spew it forth on others. I threw all my emotions out into the world and onto others.
I'm not saying I am a saint now by any means but I do believe I have gotten much better at being a better, more compassionate person to be around. I try to put others first and consider their feelings before I just let the craziness out of my head. I try to be respectful of others and their feelings. I sometimes do a better and sometimes I falter. That is just part of my "say what you feel" personality.
I am still a work in progress, but I honestly believe my progress is going well. If I had a download bar, I'd say it is about half way complete. Now just to work on the part of me that expects the part of my husband to know what I want without me giving him a tiny hint. One day, until then he's gotta keep on guessing!
Josie asks: "You have had some wonderful family nights at your house, what would you say are the most endearing, and the most challenging personality traits of each family member, including yourself?"
I can pretty easily list my entire family. Myself? That one will be a challenge so let's start with the family!
Frank - His most endearing quality is that he truly is the warrior of those he loves. He would fight to the death for any of his family members or friends without having to be asked. He holds people close to his heart and truly cherishes them. Shhh...don't let him know his secret has just been outed!
His most challenging quality is his temper. I often refer to it as his "old man crankiness." I'm not sure if he notices it or not when his inner beast escapes, but it's not all that cute. The myth of a red-headed temper must be similar to his red-bearded temper. The beast does not surface often but when it does I do my best to feed it a cookie, give it a hug, and tuck it into bed for the night.
Princess, our daughter - Her most endearing quality is her smile. She has an amazing smile that can light up any room. I love when her mock-pout turns into a beaming smile with a giggle behind it. She has a great sense of humor and warm up chilly days with her smile. When it's family time, the boys all sit around and crack jokes at everybody's expense. I often wait for her smile to show and her laughter to follow. When she was only 1/2 hour old, she graced her first ever smile upon her Grandpa and instantly he was smitten with a loving bond that has only grown stronger and stronger over the last 19 years. It is that same smile that I will miss when she goes away to college.
Her most challenging quality is much like her father's, her temper. She is always on the go and super busy in life which leaves her often stressed about lack of time or how to handle things if they don't turn out the way she envisioned them. I have faith that she will one day gain the knowledge of just how truly capable she is of doing everything she sets her mind to and that discovery will lead to a peace of mind she sometimes seems to be chasing. Her inner will and drive are simply amazing for somebody her age, once she discovers that...she will be much more relaxed in life.
Bear, our oldest son and middle child- His most endearing quality is his love. He has an open heart of love, joy, happiness, and humor. He is absolutely a kind soul. I've always tried to keep the kids pretty equal. I'd take them out shopping together and then I'd take them separately. Ever since he was able to talk, anytime it was Bear's turn to go out with him Mom as just the two of us he'd always question "What about the others?" He'd always be concerned about what if they wanted to go, what would they like us to bring them back, or what would they like. Even now as a 17 year old young-man, he quite often puts others first.
Bear's most challenging quality is his lack of confidence, although that is growing. He simply has no idea how smart, funny, and talented he is. I can see in his face sometimes that he questions himself and does not believe in himself the way that he should. He is capable of anything and one day he will discover it. Until then, I will be his cheerleader to push him forward.
DJ, our youngest son and youngest child- His most endearing quality is his complete lack of being able to be stressed about anything! He is a gentle, old soul in a 14 year old's body. He just does not seem to have the ability to be worried or stressed out about anything, aside from frustration over video games. DJ once got detention. He was not doing as the teacher wanted him, he was talking during a time of requested silent work. After repeated warning, the teacher sent DJ to sit in the hallway. DJ stood up, walked towards the front of the classroom, saluted the teacher, and then proceeded into the hallway to relax. Did I say saluted? Yes, he saluted the teacher! It was not done as a symbol of disrespect DJ said, it was just the opposite. It was more of a "Well played" salute to his teacher, or so he explained. Was he worried over his parents being upset about his detention? Not one bit!
His most challenging quality is without a doubt his complete lack of being able to be stressed about anything! He is so care-free in his life that it is often difficult to understand just why he is the way he is. I envy the fact that he surely will never have an ulcer but as his mother it frustrates me to no end trying to communicate something when he truly does not see what is so wrong. Don't get me wrong, he is not care-free with his actions and is a fairly responsible 14 year old who even has a job, he's just a care-free spirit.
Oh lord I have run out of family member! That means it's time to talk about me...YIKES!
My most endearing quality? I'm slightly stumped so thought I would cheat a bit and ask the husband. His response? "Your bitchiness!" On second thought I won't cheat but my most challenging quality might just be the fact that I'm about to go whoop his a$$ for saying that without even laughing a tiny little bit when he said it!
Ok, real business now. My most endearing quality, I hope, is my drive. While some might see it as a not so endearing quality because I can get lost in it, my drive is what moves me to make each day better and strive for a brighter tomorrow. It is my drive to see people as not what they appear but to give them the benefit of the doubt. It is my drive to give my all to those around me and strive for a better tomorrow. It is my drive to give all of me and everything that I am for the betterment of my family. It is my drive to propel me into the world and learn all I can so that I can share it with others.
My most challenging quality, and Frank is correct on this one, is my stubbornness! When I dig my feet in, I can not be moved by logic, rationality, or persuasion. It is a terrible flaw in my personality at times but it is a part of me. It has had it's good moments in time but more often than not it has had it's bad moments. When the bull is full out stubborn, stay clear and stand back until it's teeth are no longer showing, the slobber has worn away, and the tail is no longer swooshing back and forth. Not to fear, the beast will return to it's cage on it's own or Frank, the lion tamer, will step in and coax it back into it's slumber. I often like to refer to my stubbornness as "being female" but that is just a nice way of saying "I'm in a bitchy mood, keep moving and nobody gets hurt."
Thank you both for your questions, I tried to be as open and honest as I could. I honestly enjoyed the questions and look forward to next week. :)
Now, let's hit "publish" without rereading what I wrote! I'm feeling brave tonight!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
For scooters everywhere!
While typing up my mini-blog about One Question Wednesday, I noticed that below where I type my blog in it's little box thingy, there is a spot to "label" my posts. I've never done that before and am unsure of how it works...but...it gives examples! I can label things like vacations, fall, or scooters!
Do people really tag their blogs with a label for "scooters" or is it just me that finds that kind of tag odd?
Vacations? I got ya.
Fall? Sure.
Marriage? Alright.
Kids? Gotcha.
Scooters? Uh, excuse me?
Are there people out there who often discuss their scooters or their need for a scooter that they would tag their blogs with such a label?
Fuck it, note my tag people. I'm doing it...and I might be the only damn person in bloggerland to actually use that god awful tag!
PS - If you have used the tag "scooters" what were ya thinking?
Do people really tag their blogs with a label for "scooters" or is it just me that finds that kind of tag odd?
Vacations? I got ya.
Fall? Sure.
Marriage? Alright.
Kids? Gotcha.
Scooters? Uh, excuse me?
Are there people out there who often discuss their scooters or their need for a scooter that they would tag their blogs with such a label?
Fuck it, note my tag people. I'm doing it...and I might be the only damn person in bloggerland to actually use that god awful tag!
PS - If you have used the tag "scooters" what were ya thinking?
Do I dare?
It seems I do.
Josie and my Monkey man are blogging away about "OQW" or whatever ya call it. You know, you ask a question of me and then on Wednesday I answer it. Or if my past catches up again, I'll answer it in another five years!
I went ahead and braved asking a question to my lil monkey muffin and my Josie friend so I guess I should open myself up to some questions from others. Let's see what happens, but I can't post more on this subject as I just found a topic and have to go at it!
Josie and my Monkey man are blogging away about "OQW" or whatever ya call it. You know, you ask a question of me and then on Wednesday I answer it. Or if my past catches up again, I'll answer it in another five years!
I went ahead and braved asking a question to my lil monkey muffin and my Josie friend so I guess I should open myself up to some questions from others. Let's see what happens, but I can't post more on this subject as I just found a topic and have to go at it!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Blowing off the dust
Frank insists that possibly people at his blog won't believe it is actually me posting on his comments because it shows up as "anonymous" and not my blog name. So i took some time and dusted off this raggedy old blog, after rediscovering my password, and can now post under my real blog name on his page. He makes me feel as if I am a mystical creature that nobody will actually believe exists!
Rereading my old blog I realized one thing, I had a terrible potty mouth! I try to not have a potty mouth but apparently I used to just let those words pour out of me. My apologies for the language but I didn't want to change them because at the time I posted the blogs, those were my feelings in those words.
I'm not sure how entertaining my life is but if something happens, I'll be sure to blog about it for those who are bored enough to read. :)
Take care.
Rereading my old blog I realized one thing, I had a terrible potty mouth! I try to not have a potty mouth but apparently I used to just let those words pour out of me. My apologies for the language but I didn't want to change them because at the time I posted the blogs, those were my feelings in those words.
I'm not sure how entertaining my life is but if something happens, I'll be sure to blog about it for those who are bored enough to read. :)
Take care.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
I didn't vote her ass in!
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the state
the people were starving while Granholm ate steak.
She looked at her administration and said with a laugh,
"We evicted them all. Who else can we shaft?"
"Please pass me the steak, I'll give it some thought,
Don't waste all this food the taxpayers bought."
She looked out the window all snowy and cold,
when up she did jump: "Let's go after the old."
We'll go after their pensions, their Medicare and all,
we'll make their lives miserable, we'll all have a ball.
They talked about prisons, the inmates and staff,
with a gleam in her eye said, "The guards we can shaft."
We'll lay off large numbers, we'll work them alone.
We don't give a darn, we're safe in OUR home.
They all raised their glasses, said a toast we must do!
"Here's to all the poor people and homeless we screw."
We'll take all their welfare, their food and their heat
we'll shut down some prisons, put the cons on the street.
We'll put them on tethers, probation and parole
and turn them all loose, with no place to go.
They won't have a job, they'll live on the street.
Their only survival is whom they rob, rape or beat.
So up they did jump after a wonderful meal.
They jumped in their foreign cars, No Ford, or Oldsmobile.
All through the night they sped like the wind
"Don't worry about tickets, the cops are all friends."
So to all of the jobless, she flashed a big grin
you had this one coming, the rich voted us in.
the people were starving while Granholm ate steak.
She looked at her administration and said with a laugh,
"We evicted them all. Who else can we shaft?"
"Please pass me the steak, I'll give it some thought,
Don't waste all this food the taxpayers bought."
She looked out the window all snowy and cold,
when up she did jump: "Let's go after the old."
We'll go after their pensions, their Medicare and all,
we'll make their lives miserable, we'll all have a ball.
They talked about prisons, the inmates and staff,
with a gleam in her eye said, "The guards we can shaft."
We'll lay off large numbers, we'll work them alone.
We don't give a darn, we're safe in OUR home.
They all raised their glasses, said a toast we must do!
"Here's to all the poor people and homeless we screw."
We'll take all their welfare, their food and their heat
we'll shut down some prisons, put the cons on the street.
We'll put them on tethers, probation and parole
and turn them all loose, with no place to go.
They won't have a job, they'll live on the street.
Their only survival is whom they rob, rape or beat.
So up they did jump after a wonderful meal.
They jumped in their foreign cars, No Ford, or Oldsmobile.
All through the night they sped like the wind
"Don't worry about tickets, the cops are all friends."
So to all of the jobless, she flashed a big grin
you had this one coming, the rich voted us in.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Wooooooooosshhhhhhhhhhhh
And that's the sound of life in the fast lane folks. Oh where, oh where has time gone? Last blog in October? That means Halloween, Thanksgiving, a kiddie birthday, and tons of work days have streamed by at lightening speed leaving little time for me to even wonder "where in the hell is all this time going?"
Work is work. Things at the new store have left little time for the old store. Getting 60+ people all on the same page can sometimes be a bit daunting but a chore that I am still warmly embracing. Slowly we are climbing the steps towards greatness, as measured by me of course, and getting a once much disorganized store into a straight line. The budget is much improved and the owner and my supervisor extremely happy. So that's good.
The kids are growing faster than I can imagine they would have. Princess is taller than me as she has been for over a year now. She's done with volleyball for this year and has moved onto Varsity Cheerleading all the while carrying a 3.94 GPA. I have no idea how she does it considering she leaves the house at 7:30am and returns well after 7pm each weekday. She comes home, does homework, grabs a bite to eat, takes a shower, and heads to bed. She attends a local University for half her day and takes accelerated Math and Science courses which hurl her thru one high school book each semester. I knew she had outsmarted me when she cruised over to me for math help. I looked at the book and said "What is this?" and she smiled and said "Trig". WTF? "I can't even spell that much less tell you how to do it kiddo." The smile on her face showed how proud she is of herself. In her junior and senior years of high school she will be taking college coursed and getting credit towards a degree. Hope the scholarships fly because this cookie is going to head to a mega college with the brain in her noggin.
Bear is the same height as I am. He is so amazingly proud of the growth, now just to catch up to daddy. He's doing so much better in school this year...except math. Wonder if having his sister tutor him is a bad idea? Probably. Seems he "chats" with a young lady in his school online. Hmmmmm....he can't possibly be old enough for girlfriends can he? Especially not if he takes after his father, I'm not ready for that chase! Although I am so glad to see that him entering his teen years has not taken his compassion and heart from him. So many teenagers seem to get moody and angry, not my bear. He still has a heart of gold and I hope it takes him far in life. He will always be the guy who everybody turns to for a shoulder to lean on. Hard to find in life.
Snookies, what in the hell can I say about him? He's started being curious about cooking and loves to help, if his interest in it can hold up. He has a tendancy to have a wandering mind so keeping the thought of "It's almost time to stir the noodles" in his head for more than two or three minutes is hard. No, he isn't ADHD or whatever that made up crap is, he's a normal ten year old boy. He's got shit to do man! He's doing well in school, thank goodness. I am just not sure I can handle another year of "He seems disinterested and lays his head on his desk often." You try to tell a ten year old who is full of life just because he is bored doesn't mean he can roll his eyes and flop his head onto his desk. The teacher thought he was being rude, he was just being him. Snookies intends very little to be rude, he just...well...he's him. His mind is always racing and looking for the next challenge in life. He does something until he gets it and understands it and masters it...then onto the next thing. School doesn't always go that way and getting him to understand it took much of last year. Next year should be better for him as he will be in middle school and able to do more.
Did I miss a kid? Ah yes, Frank. =P He's doing well, just not on his blog. I can't even begin to tell ya what he's up to with that. My loving husband endures quite a bit with me and my crazy self. Wonder if he ever thought he would one day be a friend, lover, husband, secretary, sounding board, and psychiatrist all to one person. Hell, I'm just glad he doesn't smack me and tell me to never speak to him again. He listens to all of my crazy rants, work stories, stresses of life, and wacky ideas but never tells me to shut up. I would love to say that I'd do the same for him, but I have a hard enough time putting up with my own crazy self so I'm super glad he's grounded. Without him I am not sure I could do everything I need to do in a day. Now if I could just wrangle more massages out of him...wonder if two a day is too much?
I'm super jealous of his new car. It's so pretty and makes me dream of getting one for me. But I'm not into debt and don't want to get another car payment. I don't like to have any debt over my head and that's why we don't have credit cards or any loans or other stuff. But we just hadn't saved up enough cash for this car to pay cash like we did last time, so car payments here we come! If this is what being an adult feels like, I pass. Oh well, it is a super nice car...now how do I get him to swap me it for the van? lol
Putting up the Christmas tree soon, so I guess I should wrap this up for now. No, the tree isn't up. The damn tree elves never showed up and I have had too much shit to do. So today is the day.
To all those bloggers that I follow and care for, I might not have been commenting but I have been reading. Glad to see that things seem to be looking up for everybody and I hope you all have the happiest of holidays.
Peace Out <3
Work is work. Things at the new store have left little time for the old store. Getting 60+ people all on the same page can sometimes be a bit daunting but a chore that I am still warmly embracing. Slowly we are climbing the steps towards greatness, as measured by me of course, and getting a once much disorganized store into a straight line. The budget is much improved and the owner and my supervisor extremely happy. So that's good.
The kids are growing faster than I can imagine they would have. Princess is taller than me as she has been for over a year now. She's done with volleyball for this year and has moved onto Varsity Cheerleading all the while carrying a 3.94 GPA. I have no idea how she does it considering she leaves the house at 7:30am and returns well after 7pm each weekday. She comes home, does homework, grabs a bite to eat, takes a shower, and heads to bed. She attends a local University for half her day and takes accelerated Math and Science courses which hurl her thru one high school book each semester. I knew she had outsmarted me when she cruised over to me for math help. I looked at the book and said "What is this?" and she smiled and said "Trig". WTF? "I can't even spell that much less tell you how to do it kiddo." The smile on her face showed how proud she is of herself. In her junior and senior years of high school she will be taking college coursed and getting credit towards a degree. Hope the scholarships fly because this cookie is going to head to a mega college with the brain in her noggin.
Bear is the same height as I am. He is so amazingly proud of the growth, now just to catch up to daddy. He's doing so much better in school this year...except math. Wonder if having his sister tutor him is a bad idea? Probably. Seems he "chats" with a young lady in his school online. Hmmmmm....he can't possibly be old enough for girlfriends can he? Especially not if he takes after his father, I'm not ready for that chase! Although I am so glad to see that him entering his teen years has not taken his compassion and heart from him. So many teenagers seem to get moody and angry, not my bear. He still has a heart of gold and I hope it takes him far in life. He will always be the guy who everybody turns to for a shoulder to lean on. Hard to find in life.
Snookies, what in the hell can I say about him? He's started being curious about cooking and loves to help, if his interest in it can hold up. He has a tendancy to have a wandering mind so keeping the thought of "It's almost time to stir the noodles" in his head for more than two or three minutes is hard. No, he isn't ADHD or whatever that made up crap is, he's a normal ten year old boy. He's got shit to do man! He's doing well in school, thank goodness. I am just not sure I can handle another year of "He seems disinterested and lays his head on his desk often." You try to tell a ten year old who is full of life just because he is bored doesn't mean he can roll his eyes and flop his head onto his desk. The teacher thought he was being rude, he was just being him. Snookies intends very little to be rude, he just...well...he's him. His mind is always racing and looking for the next challenge in life. He does something until he gets it and understands it and masters it...then onto the next thing. School doesn't always go that way and getting him to understand it took much of last year. Next year should be better for him as he will be in middle school and able to do more.
Did I miss a kid? Ah yes, Frank. =P He's doing well, just not on his blog. I can't even begin to tell ya what he's up to with that. My loving husband endures quite a bit with me and my crazy self. Wonder if he ever thought he would one day be a friend, lover, husband, secretary, sounding board, and psychiatrist all to one person. Hell, I'm just glad he doesn't smack me and tell me to never speak to him again. He listens to all of my crazy rants, work stories, stresses of life, and wacky ideas but never tells me to shut up. I would love to say that I'd do the same for him, but I have a hard enough time putting up with my own crazy self so I'm super glad he's grounded. Without him I am not sure I could do everything I need to do in a day. Now if I could just wrangle more massages out of him...wonder if two a day is too much?
I'm super jealous of his new car. It's so pretty and makes me dream of getting one for me. But I'm not into debt and don't want to get another car payment. I don't like to have any debt over my head and that's why we don't have credit cards or any loans or other stuff. But we just hadn't saved up enough cash for this car to pay cash like we did last time, so car payments here we come! If this is what being an adult feels like, I pass. Oh well, it is a super nice car...now how do I get him to swap me it for the van? lol
Putting up the Christmas tree soon, so I guess I should wrap this up for now. No, the tree isn't up. The damn tree elves never showed up and I have had too much shit to do. So today is the day.
To all those bloggers that I follow and care for, I might not have been commenting but I have been reading. Glad to see that things seem to be looking up for everybody and I hope you all have the happiest of holidays.
Peace Out <3
Friday, October 26, 2007
Fun was had by all...eventually
So Princess has been asking for several weeks to have some friends over for a small Halloween party. And after last year's gigantic one where it looked like a concert had let out when parents picked their kids up afterwards, a small party sounded a-ok to me.
So after a long day of work for both the Daddy guy and the Momma, we come home to eight children in the house...six of which are teenage girls. The volume level was at a maximum by the time the pizzas were delivered. So we load them full of pizza, soda, and candy. What to do after that? Load them into two vehicles and head to the "Haunted Jail" in hopes of scaring the shit out of them.
I got all the girls in the van ride (I think I lost a bet somehow) and Frank had the two boys. A van of six teenage girls versus two preteen boys? Frank, you owe me! lol
Anyway, by the time we hit the parking lot of the place, the girls are all riled up and a few were on the verge of quitting. So we stand in what we thought was the line for tickets for like five minutes before the front door of the place opens up and a friendly face pokes out and says "If you are here for the Haunted Jail, come on up." Duh! So in we went. The Daddy guy paid for all the tickets and even bought the kids (plus himself) glownecklaces. Then we stood in the little waiting room with dim lights as they played a documentary of what the jail is all about...just enough to scare the crap out of us again!
So the Daddy guy and I each had to go in with one of the boys since anybody under the age of 13 has to be with an adult. We get split up from the girls and sent in ahead of them. The first part, you are put into a jail cell and the door shut behind you.
Bear and I head into one cell and Frank and DJ into the one across the way. The famous murderer is "Killjoy". As Bear and I are shut into our cell the creepy guy who escorted us in says "Cell number seven, the home of Killjoy." Oh super! We huddle in the cell against the far wall so we can keep an eye on the door. Some creepy ass noises go off and then the strobe effect starts and we notice that the back of the cell is not a solid door like the front but metal bars...and there is a dude with a mask and jailbird outfit creeping around behind them. Bear and I wiggle our way back to the front of the cell and into the corner. He starts to whimper that he doesn't want to be there anymore and wants to leave. I try to comfort him and tell him it will be ok and then Killjoy starts howling "I want the boy, it's not ok. Get out of me home. I want the boy."
This sends Bear into full panic mode and he's trying to get inside the corner of the cell, like literally in the wall to escape the murderer. Killjoy wanders away from the back and we can't see him anymore and figure we are safe. So I hug Bear and tell him it's all ok, it's just pretend...and all of a sudded...the front door opens and Killjoy is face to face with Bear howling in a very ominous voice "It's not ok. I want the boy. Come here boy. This is my home boy. It's not ok. I want the boy." Over and over. I comfort Bear the whole time and keep one eye on Killjoy. Poor Bear was petrified! I think the actor knew it and so he slid out of the cell. As I comfort him and tell him it's ok, from across the hallway I hear a little voice say "Wassup?" I tell ya, I thought DJ had balls of steel for saying that to the person as they came into his cell to scare his ass.
Then we are all asked to exit our cells after a few more minutes of terrifying noises and the creepy Killjoy wandering behind the metal bars. I tell ya, Bear and I thought it was a joke! So we stayed put. We knew Killjoy was just in the hallway and there was no way we were walking out into his trap. Then we heard the other cells open and the guide tell people to please shut their doors behind them so we could continue to the upstairs attic. Must be safe! So we crept out and noticed that all was good. We exited into another little hallway area before being escorted upstairs...and thank goodness for that! This hallway was the safe haven for DJ and Bear, they both said they were NOT going any further! So I took the brave ones outside while the Daddy guy continued on with his fright fest.
While waiting outside we discovered that DJ had actually had his eyes covered pretty much the whole time!
After Frank came out, we waited for the girls to exit. I was positive one of them was going to atleast bail after the first part. But they all toughed it out and went thru the whole thing. They came out...laughing! The excitement of it all had all of us talking about our experience for the next hour. Seems the girls were scared pretty good, but chose to act tough and turn it into fun and laugh at it.
There was so much fun had, I'm sure we will do it again next year...I think.
So after a long day of work for both the Daddy guy and the Momma, we come home to eight children in the house...six of which are teenage girls. The volume level was at a maximum by the time the pizzas were delivered. So we load them full of pizza, soda, and candy. What to do after that? Load them into two vehicles and head to the "Haunted Jail" in hopes of scaring the shit out of them.
I got all the girls in the van ride (I think I lost a bet somehow) and Frank had the two boys. A van of six teenage girls versus two preteen boys? Frank, you owe me! lol
Anyway, by the time we hit the parking lot of the place, the girls are all riled up and a few were on the verge of quitting. So we stand in what we thought was the line for tickets for like five minutes before the front door of the place opens up and a friendly face pokes out and says "If you are here for the Haunted Jail, come on up." Duh! So in we went. The Daddy guy paid for all the tickets and even bought the kids (plus himself) glownecklaces. Then we stood in the little waiting room with dim lights as they played a documentary of what the jail is all about...just enough to scare the crap out of us again!
So the Daddy guy and I each had to go in with one of the boys since anybody under the age of 13 has to be with an adult. We get split up from the girls and sent in ahead of them. The first part, you are put into a jail cell and the door shut behind you.
Bear and I head into one cell and Frank and DJ into the one across the way. The famous murderer is "Killjoy". As Bear and I are shut into our cell the creepy guy who escorted us in says "Cell number seven, the home of Killjoy." Oh super! We huddle in the cell against the far wall so we can keep an eye on the door. Some creepy ass noises go off and then the strobe effect starts and we notice that the back of the cell is not a solid door like the front but metal bars...and there is a dude with a mask and jailbird outfit creeping around behind them. Bear and I wiggle our way back to the front of the cell and into the corner. He starts to whimper that he doesn't want to be there anymore and wants to leave. I try to comfort him and tell him it will be ok and then Killjoy starts howling "I want the boy, it's not ok. Get out of me home. I want the boy."
This sends Bear into full panic mode and he's trying to get inside the corner of the cell, like literally in the wall to escape the murderer. Killjoy wanders away from the back and we can't see him anymore and figure we are safe. So I hug Bear and tell him it's all ok, it's just pretend...and all of a sudded...the front door opens and Killjoy is face to face with Bear howling in a very ominous voice "It's not ok. I want the boy. Come here boy. This is my home boy. It's not ok. I want the boy." Over and over. I comfort Bear the whole time and keep one eye on Killjoy. Poor Bear was petrified! I think the actor knew it and so he slid out of the cell. As I comfort him and tell him it's ok, from across the hallway I hear a little voice say "Wassup?" I tell ya, I thought DJ had balls of steel for saying that to the person as they came into his cell to scare his ass.
Then we are all asked to exit our cells after a few more minutes of terrifying noises and the creepy Killjoy wandering behind the metal bars. I tell ya, Bear and I thought it was a joke! So we stayed put. We knew Killjoy was just in the hallway and there was no way we were walking out into his trap. Then we heard the other cells open and the guide tell people to please shut their doors behind them so we could continue to the upstairs attic. Must be safe! So we crept out and noticed that all was good. We exited into another little hallway area before being escorted upstairs...and thank goodness for that! This hallway was the safe haven for DJ and Bear, they both said they were NOT going any further! So I took the brave ones outside while the Daddy guy continued on with his fright fest.
While waiting outside we discovered that DJ had actually had his eyes covered pretty much the whole time!
After Frank came out, we waited for the girls to exit. I was positive one of them was going to atleast bail after the first part. But they all toughed it out and went thru the whole thing. They came out...laughing! The excitement of it all had all of us talking about our experience for the next hour. Seems the girls were scared pretty good, but chose to act tough and turn it into fun and laugh at it.
There was so much fun had, I'm sure we will do it again next year...I think.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Some tit for tat ya might say.
Our lovable Josie has a "One Question Wednesday" where anybody can ask her a question and there are no limits. The only catch, and it's a fun one, is that she gets to ask one in return. I finally made it to her site on a Wednesday and got a chance to partake in the fun. Here's my question from Josie...
""If fate had taken you down a different path, and you hadn't met up with the infamous Mr. Frank, what dreams did you have for your future, and what do you think your life would have been like now? "
Wow! I'm not even quite sure. We met when we were in High School, the 10th grade to be exact. I can honestly say that I had not planned anything for my future. I had no thoughts on what I wanted to do or who I wanted to become.
I believe that if we had not met, I would most definately not live in the hellish state that we currently live in. I would probably still be living in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I can see that I would have gone to college and would have found myself somewhere in the medical field as science and living creatures have always interested me. A veterinarian, medical assistant, medical transcriptionist, or possibly a zoologist. I can see that I would have gone in that direction. As for relationships, I'd probably still be single as it was Frank who "got me out of my shell" and taught me that it is ok to just be me.
That might be an odd response to the question, but it's the truth. Other than what I put, my mind is a blank. So it's possible I would have just become a damn bum! lol
""If fate had taken you down a different path, and you hadn't met up with the infamous Mr. Frank, what dreams did you have for your future, and what do you think your life would have been like now? "
Wow! I'm not even quite sure. We met when we were in High School, the 10th grade to be exact. I can honestly say that I had not planned anything for my future. I had no thoughts on what I wanted to do or who I wanted to become.
I believe that if we had not met, I would most definately not live in the hellish state that we currently live in. I would probably still be living in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I can see that I would have gone to college and would have found myself somewhere in the medical field as science and living creatures have always interested me. A veterinarian, medical assistant, medical transcriptionist, or possibly a zoologist. I can see that I would have gone in that direction. As for relationships, I'd probably still be single as it was Frank who "got me out of my shell" and taught me that it is ok to just be me.
That might be an odd response to the question, but it's the truth. Other than what I put, my mind is a blank. So it's possible I would have just become a damn bum! lol
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Frank's retirement To-Do list
Master grocery shopping, without bringing home any live critters in the brown sacks.
Serving dinner, without having to take it out of the take-out sack it was brought home in.
Be my accountant, without me having to remind you what a due date is.
Become a laundry professional, without us having to get dressed out of the "clean" basket.
Massage me regularly, without me having to beg.
You get those five things down to a science and we'll talk retirement. But ya know, if you want I'll buy you a new car in a few months. That do anything for you? How about if you keep working, save your entire paycheck, and then use that for your "Frank needs video games" fund?
Screw it, if you honest to God want to quit...we can discuss it. lmao
Serving dinner, without having to take it out of the take-out sack it was brought home in.
Be my accountant, without me having to remind you what a due date is.
Become a laundry professional, without us having to get dressed out of the "clean" basket.
Massage me regularly, without me having to beg.
You get those five things down to a science and we'll talk retirement. But ya know, if you want I'll buy you a new car in a few months. That do anything for you? How about if you keep working, save your entire paycheck, and then use that for your "Frank needs video games" fund?
Screw it, if you honest to God want to quit...we can discuss it. lmao
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Since Frank is lazy
How Patches came to be in our family...since Frank is lazy and just says "look for it." lol Ya shithead!
Patches O'Fluff
Patches O'Fluff
Interview's last lovin' Part 5
5. Your husband is a colorful character, to say the least. Tell us about your craziest adventure with him. What does he do that makes you laugh? What does he do that makes you cry? Why don't you like his cat? What is your secret to making this marriage work?
Colorful, huh! That says a mouthful all in one word. We have had so many adventures, where to even begin and better yet how much to actually share?
One adventure, if you want to call it that, was when he was teaching me to drive. On one trip around town it started to rain. So he explained how to turn on the wipers. Then it started to pour and I simply couldn't see no matter how fast the wipers went. So as I drove extremely slow while crying that I just couldn't see and could not continue, he lovingly supported me while I came to a dead stop in the middle of the road to switch seats with him so he could drive my crazed ass to the comfort of our house.
Another adventure was buying our house. And that one seemed like it would take forever! We applied. Were denied over a credit report mistake. Cleared up the mistake. Got approved. House hunted. (There's another story for ya.) Found the house of our dreams. Made an offer. Had the offer accepted. Waited for the final paperwork. Signed a butt load of money over. Moved in.
House hunting is fun, but especially when you go to a modular home lot with Frank! So we go to a modular home lot that looked like it had some nice houses on it even though Frank was dead set against getting a modular home...I insisted we atleast look. One of the sales guys greets us and we explain to him that we are looking and had already been pre-approved for a home loan in $X amount. So he writes a list of houses on the back of a business card that were in our price range, tells us to go look around at those houses, and says he will meet up with us in a bit. We set off looking at the ones on the card. Frank sits on every toilet and lays in every bathtub in each of the houses! I holler at him each time he does it because somebody could come in and see him being a screwball and embarass me. Frank? He thinks it funny! As we make our way around the circle of homes we are right in front of the office and see one that is huge for a modular home. We decide that even though it is not on the list we should take a peek in and see why it's so huge. The door was locked! But we noticed there were people in it so we wait for one of them to open the door so we could go inside. BUT before we get that chance we hear from behind us "Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank. Is that one of the houses on your list?" Ok, at the time the salesman's tone was quite humiliating and embarassing. But later on that day it led to many laughing fits as one of us would repeat his mocking tone. We never did buy a modular, that one guy soured me on the idea.
Ok, for the next few there needs to be a full out WARNING! WARNING, IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR OR READ OF SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN THE HUBBY AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!
So before we were married and were teenagers in love, sex was something we lived for and made time for numerous times a day...everyday. Well, when Frank was at my house visiting, sex was a no-no as my mother just could not know that we did THAT! Being a teenager quickly got the better of us...well me, he's just like that. We were out front of the house and Frank convinced me to go inside and take off my panties. (I don't think it took him long to convince me either, I was pretty giving of the panties for him.) When I came back outside he slid me onto the hood of my mother's car, stood in front of me, pulled my legs to either side of him, slid my shorts off to the side, and we did what teenagers do...right there on the hood of my mother's car! Soooooo...we did it many more times. Once, my neighbor came over to ask if I needed a ride to school the next day and we had to mask what we were doing by pretending to be just hugging and cuddling. On another ocassion, one of which my sister later informed my mother of, my mom walked into the garage, turned the light on, saw us out front, and waved at us. FRANK ACTUALLY WAVED BACK! Who the hell waves at somebody elses mother while having sex? That man ain't wrapped too tight!
Then there was the adventure that nearly killed us, and I mean literally. Way back when Frank's neck was broken and I had to drive him to the Doctor's office for checkups and such, we noted a little porn shop on the outskirts of the town where the Doctor's office was. So one day we decided on our next trip we would stop in and see what was what. Like good sex crazed people, we dropped in after the next Dr. visit. Oh my lord! The things in that store made my head swim. Frank encouraged me to find a toy that I thougth I would like. Far too many choices, so I asked him to help find something. So we wander around and around and then Frank spots it...a butterfly. Now I had no idea what in the hell it was so Frank the sex expert explains that it's a vibrator that is shaped like a butterfly and doesn't actually get inserted. Ya see, it has these little straps that you wear around your legs so that the butterfly thingy sits comfortably between your legs and massages you in all sorts of heavenly ways. The kicker...it has a remote! SOLD! After they do the usual of making sure it works by putting batteries in it and turning it on before you leave the store (I hate when the cashier plays with my toys before I do) we head out of the store and get in the van. Now, I must note that with Frank's neck injusy he is not able to drive so I did all the driving back then. As I turn the van on, Frank says in his lovable voice "Pull into the back and put it on." After about two seconds of arguing with him, I did just that. I pulled behind the store, slid out of my panties, put my new butterfly friend on, and then started to drive us back home. The first part of the trip home was a tingly, heavenly trip as Frank sat next to me and operated the remote for my butterfly friend and sent me into realms of pleasure that just should not be experienced during the day and in public. Now with me being in that state of mind and Frank being lost in his world of complete control over my body without even having to touch me...we hit the S-curves...at 70 mph! Now it wasn't the S-curves nor the speed that almost killed us, it was Frank switching it to full blast as I rounded one curve with an on coming semi truck barreling towards us and me not being able to focus and swerving into the other lane! I swerved back into our lane, we gained control of our senses, pulled over onto the side of the road, and placed my butterfly friend back into it's box for the remainder of the trip home. And you bet your ass on every trip to the "goodie store" after that, we just salivate over the toys until we get home...except for the time we bought flavored lube and I made him tatse it before we left the parking lot! lmao
OK, enough of the adventures for now or we will never get done with the interview.
What does Frank do to make me laugh? What doesn't he do might be easier! Frank lives to entertain and make others laugh. He has damn near killed Spot with laughter before, several times. He makes sarcastic comments. He walks funny while distorting his face. He pokes fun at himself. He lives life to it's fullest, and that often drags those around him into entertainmentville. He just enjoys life and laughs at every moment he can, which is quite contagious.
What does he do to make me cry? Not much, believe it or not Frank actually goes out of his way to make me not cry. But when it happens, he comforts me and holds me close to his chest until I am done. When we were younger we would fight, and it often got ugly. I will admit that I would sometimes cry intentionally because I knew that it would end the fight right away. Frank is just not the type of person who can see somebody he cares about cry and not fix it for them.
Ahhhh, his freakin' cat! Patches O'Fluff to be exact. Patches is a Maine Coon, or however you spell that damn breed. Part of that breed's nature is similar to a dog, well a puppy to be more exact. They need constant love and often mimic dog behavior. When I had my dog, Caesar who was half German Shepard and half St. Bernard who weighed about 150 pounds, Patches wanted nothing more than to have Caesar love him. Caesar? He wanted nothing to do with that cat. Patches would sit by Caesar as he drank from the water bowl and watch the waves in the bowl as Caesar's overgrown tongue lapped at the water. Then when Caesar was done, Patches would stride over to the bowl, swat at the water with his furry paw to make similar waves, then lap at the water until the waves stopped, and then repeat the above actions until he was done drinking. And then he'd sit on my lap wet paw and all! Patches also doesn't like to bathe, I think it's because he never saw Caesar do it so why should he do it. So Patches is kind of a skanky and long haired "puppy" who has an insane obsession with getting and maintaining Frank's every waking moment of love and attention. He'll stop at nothing to be loved by Frank. Patches will sit next to him and tap Frank until he gets love. He'll slam his head into our shut bedroom door until we let him in for some Frank love. He sneaks under the covers just to be close to Frank. He lets Frank cuddle him like a stuffed teddy bear. I guess as much as I give Frank shit over his damn cat, I love the little fluffy thing for loving Frank so much and making him happy. Frank will have to share his story on how Patches became part of our whacky family.
Our secret to making our marriage work? Love and understanding. We both do things that annoy the other, but we understand that it is just how the other is. We don't try to change one another, we just accept the other...faults and all. That's another thing, don't point out the faults. Trust me, that just makes it worse. Willingness. You have to both be willing to help the other out and do things you might not really want to do. But it has to be returned in kind. Marriage is really a two-lane road. You have to be willing to travel both sides of the road, take detours when needed, stop at stop signs, hit the gas to get up the hills, and roll the windows down to enjoy the breeze that passes you by. Other than that, I'm not real sure what we are doing that makes it work. I just know I enjoy it and am all the better for it.
Josie, thank you my friend for the chance to answer some loving questions. I enjoyed every moment of it. I hope the answers were worth the time and thought that you put into the questions.
Colorful, huh! That says a mouthful all in one word. We have had so many adventures, where to even begin and better yet how much to actually share?
One adventure, if you want to call it that, was when he was teaching me to drive. On one trip around town it started to rain. So he explained how to turn on the wipers. Then it started to pour and I simply couldn't see no matter how fast the wipers went. So as I drove extremely slow while crying that I just couldn't see and could not continue, he lovingly supported me while I came to a dead stop in the middle of the road to switch seats with him so he could drive my crazed ass to the comfort of our house.
Another adventure was buying our house. And that one seemed like it would take forever! We applied. Were denied over a credit report mistake. Cleared up the mistake. Got approved. House hunted. (There's another story for ya.) Found the house of our dreams. Made an offer. Had the offer accepted. Waited for the final paperwork. Signed a butt load of money over. Moved in.
House hunting is fun, but especially when you go to a modular home lot with Frank! So we go to a modular home lot that looked like it had some nice houses on it even though Frank was dead set against getting a modular home...I insisted we atleast look. One of the sales guys greets us and we explain to him that we are looking and had already been pre-approved for a home loan in $X amount. So he writes a list of houses on the back of a business card that were in our price range, tells us to go look around at those houses, and says he will meet up with us in a bit. We set off looking at the ones on the card. Frank sits on every toilet and lays in every bathtub in each of the houses! I holler at him each time he does it because somebody could come in and see him being a screwball and embarass me. Frank? He thinks it funny! As we make our way around the circle of homes we are right in front of the office and see one that is huge for a modular home. We decide that even though it is not on the list we should take a peek in and see why it's so huge. The door was locked! But we noticed there were people in it so we wait for one of them to open the door so we could go inside. BUT before we get that chance we hear from behind us "Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank. Is that one of the houses on your list?" Ok, at the time the salesman's tone was quite humiliating and embarassing. But later on that day it led to many laughing fits as one of us would repeat his mocking tone. We never did buy a modular, that one guy soured me on the idea.
Ok, for the next few there needs to be a full out WARNING! WARNING, IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR OR READ OF SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN THE HUBBY AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!
So before we were married and were teenagers in love, sex was something we lived for and made time for numerous times a day...everyday. Well, when Frank was at my house visiting, sex was a no-no as my mother just could not know that we did THAT! Being a teenager quickly got the better of us...well me, he's just like that. We were out front of the house and Frank convinced me to go inside and take off my panties. (I don't think it took him long to convince me either, I was pretty giving of the panties for him.) When I came back outside he slid me onto the hood of my mother's car, stood in front of me, pulled my legs to either side of him, slid my shorts off to the side, and we did what teenagers do...right there on the hood of my mother's car! Soooooo...we did it many more times. Once, my neighbor came over to ask if I needed a ride to school the next day and we had to mask what we were doing by pretending to be just hugging and cuddling. On another ocassion, one of which my sister later informed my mother of, my mom walked into the garage, turned the light on, saw us out front, and waved at us. FRANK ACTUALLY WAVED BACK! Who the hell waves at somebody elses mother while having sex? That man ain't wrapped too tight!
Then there was the adventure that nearly killed us, and I mean literally. Way back when Frank's neck was broken and I had to drive him to the Doctor's office for checkups and such, we noted a little porn shop on the outskirts of the town where the Doctor's office was. So one day we decided on our next trip we would stop in and see what was what. Like good sex crazed people, we dropped in after the next Dr. visit. Oh my lord! The things in that store made my head swim. Frank encouraged me to find a toy that I thougth I would like. Far too many choices, so I asked him to help find something. So we wander around and around and then Frank spots it...a butterfly. Now I had no idea what in the hell it was so Frank the sex expert explains that it's a vibrator that is shaped like a butterfly and doesn't actually get inserted. Ya see, it has these little straps that you wear around your legs so that the butterfly thingy sits comfortably between your legs and massages you in all sorts of heavenly ways. The kicker...it has a remote! SOLD! After they do the usual of making sure it works by putting batteries in it and turning it on before you leave the store (I hate when the cashier plays with my toys before I do) we head out of the store and get in the van. Now, I must note that with Frank's neck injusy he is not able to drive so I did all the driving back then. As I turn the van on, Frank says in his lovable voice "Pull into the back and put it on." After about two seconds of arguing with him, I did just that. I pulled behind the store, slid out of my panties, put my new butterfly friend on, and then started to drive us back home. The first part of the trip home was a tingly, heavenly trip as Frank sat next to me and operated the remote for my butterfly friend and sent me into realms of pleasure that just should not be experienced during the day and in public. Now with me being in that state of mind and Frank being lost in his world of complete control over my body without even having to touch me...we hit the S-curves...at 70 mph! Now it wasn't the S-curves nor the speed that almost killed us, it was Frank switching it to full blast as I rounded one curve with an on coming semi truck barreling towards us and me not being able to focus and swerving into the other lane! I swerved back into our lane, we gained control of our senses, pulled over onto the side of the road, and placed my butterfly friend back into it's box for the remainder of the trip home. And you bet your ass on every trip to the "goodie store" after that, we just salivate over the toys until we get home...except for the time we bought flavored lube and I made him tatse it before we left the parking lot! lmao
OK, enough of the adventures for now or we will never get done with the interview.
What does Frank do to make me laugh? What doesn't he do might be easier! Frank lives to entertain and make others laugh. He has damn near killed Spot with laughter before, several times. He makes sarcastic comments. He walks funny while distorting his face. He pokes fun at himself. He lives life to it's fullest, and that often drags those around him into entertainmentville. He just enjoys life and laughs at every moment he can, which is quite contagious.
What does he do to make me cry? Not much, believe it or not Frank actually goes out of his way to make me not cry. But when it happens, he comforts me and holds me close to his chest until I am done. When we were younger we would fight, and it often got ugly. I will admit that I would sometimes cry intentionally because I knew that it would end the fight right away. Frank is just not the type of person who can see somebody he cares about cry and not fix it for them.
Ahhhh, his freakin' cat! Patches O'Fluff to be exact. Patches is a Maine Coon, or however you spell that damn breed. Part of that breed's nature is similar to a dog, well a puppy to be more exact. They need constant love and often mimic dog behavior. When I had my dog, Caesar who was half German Shepard and half St. Bernard who weighed about 150 pounds, Patches wanted nothing more than to have Caesar love him. Caesar? He wanted nothing to do with that cat. Patches would sit by Caesar as he drank from the water bowl and watch the waves in the bowl as Caesar's overgrown tongue lapped at the water. Then when Caesar was done, Patches would stride over to the bowl, swat at the water with his furry paw to make similar waves, then lap at the water until the waves stopped, and then repeat the above actions until he was done drinking. And then he'd sit on my lap wet paw and all! Patches also doesn't like to bathe, I think it's because he never saw Caesar do it so why should he do it. So Patches is kind of a skanky and long haired "puppy" who has an insane obsession with getting and maintaining Frank's every waking moment of love and attention. He'll stop at nothing to be loved by Frank. Patches will sit next to him and tap Frank until he gets love. He'll slam his head into our shut bedroom door until we let him in for some Frank love. He sneaks under the covers just to be close to Frank. He lets Frank cuddle him like a stuffed teddy bear. I guess as much as I give Frank shit over his damn cat, I love the little fluffy thing for loving Frank so much and making him happy. Frank will have to share his story on how Patches became part of our whacky family.
Our secret to making our marriage work? Love and understanding. We both do things that annoy the other, but we understand that it is just how the other is. We don't try to change one another, we just accept the other...faults and all. That's another thing, don't point out the faults. Trust me, that just makes it worse. Willingness. You have to both be willing to help the other out and do things you might not really want to do. But it has to be returned in kind. Marriage is really a two-lane road. You have to be willing to travel both sides of the road, take detours when needed, stop at stop signs, hit the gas to get up the hills, and roll the windows down to enjoy the breeze that passes you by. Other than that, I'm not real sure what we are doing that makes it work. I just know I enjoy it and am all the better for it.
Josie, thank you my friend for the chance to answer some loving questions. I enjoyed every moment of it. I hope the answers were worth the time and thought that you put into the questions.
Part 4 of my Josie lovin'
4. Your mother-in-law died of cancer long before you had a chance to meet her. Your own mother has twice battled cancer and won. In a wonderful post entitled,"Why Do I Relay?" you spoke of your dedication to finding a cure for this horrible disease. Tell me what it felt like to be the daughter of a parent battling cancer. Do you now live in fear of it returning? How has this experience changed you?
Being the daughter of a parent battling cancer made me feel completely helpless and out of control. There was nothing I could do to make it better for her. I went with her to have surgery, hugged her everytime I saw her, told her how much I love her, massaged her when she felt ok to be massaged, helped take care of her cat, and helped with her bills while she was out of work. None of that compared to how miserable I felt that I just simply could not make the pain go away. There was nothing I could do to make it better and making it tolerable wasn't ok with me. My mother is the person who gives and gives and gives without ever asking for anything in return or expecting anything in return. How unfair was it that this was happening to her...and twice! I was angry that it was her it happened to. I would have gave anything to trade places with her, anything. And there was nothing I could do to save her when she needed somebody to save her. My sister and I shared with her and put her life in the hands of God and her doctor. They saved her and I couldn't. I wanted desperately to hug her and make it all go away and yet I couldn't. I was helpless and pissed off at being helpless. I kept all that from her, I had to be her strength for she had none during all of the treatments. So I stayed by her side and was her support until she once again had her own strength. I know there was nothing that I could have done to help her more than what I was doing, and that feeling was miserable. I'm glad it's over and she is healed.
I worry that her cancer might come back yet I don't live in fear of it. She sees an oncologist regularly for check ups to assure she is still cancer free and so far things are looking pretty good. We spoke on the topic of "living in fear" and I told her that if we looked at life in that manner we might miss living our lives. Fear is not something that we should live for. For all the worries she has had about cancer returning, I know that she does not dwell on the matter. As she says "if it comes back, we'll deal with it then." I'm with her on that one, so if that day comes we will deal with it then...but not until that day.
That experience definately changed me in one way. I make sure to tell everybody that matters to me and that I love exactly that. I make sure to let those who I care about know that I do indeed care about them. I don't ever want to lose somebody special and worry that they didn't know exactly how much they meant to me. I want to cherish everybody while I still have them.
Being the daughter of a parent battling cancer made me feel completely helpless and out of control. There was nothing I could do to make it better for her. I went with her to have surgery, hugged her everytime I saw her, told her how much I love her, massaged her when she felt ok to be massaged, helped take care of her cat, and helped with her bills while she was out of work. None of that compared to how miserable I felt that I just simply could not make the pain go away. There was nothing I could do to make it better and making it tolerable wasn't ok with me. My mother is the person who gives and gives and gives without ever asking for anything in return or expecting anything in return. How unfair was it that this was happening to her...and twice! I was angry that it was her it happened to. I would have gave anything to trade places with her, anything. And there was nothing I could do to save her when she needed somebody to save her. My sister and I shared with her and put her life in the hands of God and her doctor. They saved her and I couldn't. I wanted desperately to hug her and make it all go away and yet I couldn't. I was helpless and pissed off at being helpless. I kept all that from her, I had to be her strength for she had none during all of the treatments. So I stayed by her side and was her support until she once again had her own strength. I know there was nothing that I could have done to help her more than what I was doing, and that feeling was miserable. I'm glad it's over and she is healed.
I worry that her cancer might come back yet I don't live in fear of it. She sees an oncologist regularly for check ups to assure she is still cancer free and so far things are looking pretty good. We spoke on the topic of "living in fear" and I told her that if we looked at life in that manner we might miss living our lives. Fear is not something that we should live for. For all the worries she has had about cancer returning, I know that she does not dwell on the matter. As she says "if it comes back, we'll deal with it then." I'm with her on that one, so if that day comes we will deal with it then...but not until that day.
That experience definately changed me in one way. I make sure to tell everybody that matters to me and that I love exactly that. I make sure to let those who I care about know that I do indeed care about them. I don't ever want to lose somebody special and worry that they didn't know exactly how much they meant to me. I want to cherish everybody while I still have them.
More Josie interview lovin' Part 3
3. I know very little about your life as a child. What is your happiest memory from that period? How do the childhoods of sons and daughter differ from your own? What personality traits did each of them inherit from you? If you could give each of them one piece of advice to carry with them in life, what would it be?
My happiest memory from childhood is also one of my saddest that quickly turned into my happiest. When I was 9 years old the only thing I had my heart set on getting was a stuffed Strawberry Shortcake doll that had long, braided red hair tucked under a strawberry scented hat. I had spent hours staring at her when we would go to the store and knew exactly what I would be asking Santa for that year. Christmas time came and my sister and I tore into our presents. I can not even begin to tell you what she got, but I know what I got. Shirts, socks, five records, a record player, and a pair of roller skates. My mother always tried so hard to get us everything that we wanted and I know now that the look on my face must have broke her heart because she asked what was wrong. Holding back the tears of sadness for not having anything that I considered something I could "play" with I told her nothing. She looked around at what I had gotten and asked "Where's your doll?" I told her I didn't get a doll but my sister had indeed gotten a barbie. Mom didn't quite believe me so she looked around, under the wrapping paper, and then gasped as she ran out of the room only to return a moment later holding the most cherished doll that I had so desperately wanted. Mom hugged me with tears of apology for forgetting to wrap her up for me as I hugged the doll I had so lovingly adored at the store. I thanked her to no end for my doll and she apologized. That day we both made a mistake. She forgot to wrap a simple present and I forgot to be thankful for what I had gotten instead of being miserable for what I had not gotten. So that Christmas turned out to be the happiest day of my childhood for I knew then more than I had ever that my mother loved me more than anything...and I got the doll that I went on to cherish for years.
The thing that stands out the most as being different between my children's and my own childhood is that my children are growing up in a home with two parents and don't have to split their time between parents. My parents were married until I was 11 or so but with a father in the Navy, were they ever really together? I felt that I had to always reassure the other parent that I loved them equally and not one more than the other. I don't know that either of them actually knew that tho. Which brings me to the other thing that is drastically different between their childhood and mine, freedom of speech. I was told that I could tell my parents anything, but I knew they didn't mean it. There were just some things I knew they didn't want to hear. But in our house now, my children can say anything to us and I am pretty darn sure they know it.
Princess inherited my attitude...good and bad. She also has my looks. Bear inherited my compassion towards others. DJ inherited my competitiveness.
There are so many things I want to advise my children on in life. I want them to give love freely but I don't want them to get hurt by doing so. I want them to choose paths in life that they want and to not feel forced into a particular path. I want them to have jobs that make them happy. I want them to live for themselves. Do things they want to do. Experience the things they want to experience. I want them to live life, not just watch as it passes them by.
My happiest memory from childhood is also one of my saddest that quickly turned into my happiest. When I was 9 years old the only thing I had my heart set on getting was a stuffed Strawberry Shortcake doll that had long, braided red hair tucked under a strawberry scented hat. I had spent hours staring at her when we would go to the store and knew exactly what I would be asking Santa for that year. Christmas time came and my sister and I tore into our presents. I can not even begin to tell you what she got, but I know what I got. Shirts, socks, five records, a record player, and a pair of roller skates. My mother always tried so hard to get us everything that we wanted and I know now that the look on my face must have broke her heart because she asked what was wrong. Holding back the tears of sadness for not having anything that I considered something I could "play" with I told her nothing. She looked around at what I had gotten and asked "Where's your doll?" I told her I didn't get a doll but my sister had indeed gotten a barbie. Mom didn't quite believe me so she looked around, under the wrapping paper, and then gasped as she ran out of the room only to return a moment later holding the most cherished doll that I had so desperately wanted. Mom hugged me with tears of apology for forgetting to wrap her up for me as I hugged the doll I had so lovingly adored at the store. I thanked her to no end for my doll and she apologized. That day we both made a mistake. She forgot to wrap a simple present and I forgot to be thankful for what I had gotten instead of being miserable for what I had not gotten. So that Christmas turned out to be the happiest day of my childhood for I knew then more than I had ever that my mother loved me more than anything...and I got the doll that I went on to cherish for years.
The thing that stands out the most as being different between my children's and my own childhood is that my children are growing up in a home with two parents and don't have to split their time between parents. My parents were married until I was 11 or so but with a father in the Navy, were they ever really together? I felt that I had to always reassure the other parent that I loved them equally and not one more than the other. I don't know that either of them actually knew that tho. Which brings me to the other thing that is drastically different between their childhood and mine, freedom of speech. I was told that I could tell my parents anything, but I knew they didn't mean it. There were just some things I knew they didn't want to hear. But in our house now, my children can say anything to us and I am pretty darn sure they know it.
Princess inherited my attitude...good and bad. She also has my looks. Bear inherited my compassion towards others. DJ inherited my competitiveness.
There are so many things I want to advise my children on in life. I want them to give love freely but I don't want them to get hurt by doing so. I want them to choose paths in life that they want and to not feel forced into a particular path. I want them to have jobs that make them happy. I want them to live for themselves. Do things they want to do. Experience the things they want to experience. I want them to live life, not just watch as it passes them by.
Some Josie lovin' Part 2
2. You have written that "It's best to make a decision, stick with it, and learn from it if it was the good decision to make or not." We all have a few regrets. If you could have one "Undo" in your life, what moment in your past would you use it for? What is the worst decision you have ever made, and what did you learn from that experience? What has been the best decision? If one of your children was making a decision that you strongly disagreed with, at what point would you intervene?
Hmmm, if I could have one "undo". I honestly don't think I would use my "undo" for any moment in my life. Everything I have done or experienced helped make me who I am today, and I am pretty comfortable and satisfied with who I am. Sure I have said things in the past that I probably shouldn't have said, but were they things that were true? Yes, and rose coloring things just are not necessary at times.
The worst decision I ever made? When Frank and I were both 19 we bought a car that we should have never bought. We had no apartment and were still living with his father. We should have gotten an apartment and then a car. Deciding to do a voluntary reposession was a hard decision to make, but it had to be done. We just didn't think things thru on that one...but it was a nice car while we had it.
As for one of our kids making a decision that I strongly disagree with, I'm not sure at what point I would say something. I would most likely offer my opinon. If they wanted it, I would share it in a polite way so they would not think that I was judging them. If they didn't want it, then I would caution them to seriously think things thru. However, if it were something that could cause somebody harm or be in any way against the law, then all bets are off and I would definately offer up my advice to them and encourage them to choose wisely. Forcing them to do things "my way" I think would make them resent me and possibly just force them into doing as I would like them not to do.
Regret is something that we all live with. The biggest regret that I feel people face is the regret of not doing something when they should have. That's why I feel it is best to make a decision and go with it. The worst that will happen is you will have learned that you made the wrong decision, but that's how we learn. I feel that if we don't make decisions and go for them we might one day realize that we lived to regret that we didn't regret to live. That make sense to anybody but me?
Hmmm, if I could have one "undo". I honestly don't think I would use my "undo" for any moment in my life. Everything I have done or experienced helped make me who I am today, and I am pretty comfortable and satisfied with who I am. Sure I have said things in the past that I probably shouldn't have said, but were they things that were true? Yes, and rose coloring things just are not necessary at times.
The worst decision I ever made? When Frank and I were both 19 we bought a car that we should have never bought. We had no apartment and were still living with his father. We should have gotten an apartment and then a car. Deciding to do a voluntary reposession was a hard decision to make, but it had to be done. We just didn't think things thru on that one...but it was a nice car while we had it.
As for one of our kids making a decision that I strongly disagree with, I'm not sure at what point I would say something. I would most likely offer my opinon. If they wanted it, I would share it in a polite way so they would not think that I was judging them. If they didn't want it, then I would caution them to seriously think things thru. However, if it were something that could cause somebody harm or be in any way against the law, then all bets are off and I would definately offer up my advice to them and encourage them to choose wisely. Forcing them to do things "my way" I think would make them resent me and possibly just force them into doing as I would like them not to do.
Regret is something that we all live with. The biggest regret that I feel people face is the regret of not doing something when they should have. That's why I feel it is best to make a decision and go with it. The worst that will happen is you will have learned that you made the wrong decision, but that's how we learn. I feel that if we don't make decisions and go for them we might one day realize that we lived to regret that we didn't regret to live. That make sense to anybody but me?
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I believe modesty has nothing to do with shame but has much more to do with self-appreciation and self-esteem. I think people choose which clothes to wear based on how they feel about themselves. Speaking from a female standpoint, I think that when women get dressed there is always the thought of "How do I look in this" somewhere in our minds. I think our choice of clothing is much like gift giving. We don't want to give a gift that is in tacky wrapping paper held together by band-aids. We want to give a gift that is wrapped in a gorgeous paper, has pretty ribbon around it, and finished off with a cute little bow. We are each a gift to the world around us and I think when we get dressed for the day we try to present our selves as such in the outfits we choose.
Now there are some exceptions to those thoughts. When we are home or by ourselves, we often choose much simpler wrapping paper, wrapping paper that has been crinkled, or wrapping paper that just feels relaxed. When attending certain events we choose to do without the ribbons and bows so that we aren't those present sticking out like sore thumbs. Just some of my thoughts.
My greatest fear is death. The death of a loved one, the death of a friend, and my own death. My greatest one of all those is my own, and not for the reasons you think.
I fear dying because I can't imagine the sorrow that my husband and children will face. I can't imagine that I would not be there to help them through it. That is why it terrifies me so. I love my husband and children and am always here to help them with anything. Thinking about not being here for them for a time when they need me the most terrifies me to my core. As I am typing this, tears are just rolling down my face and I can't make them stop. It is not my concern for "do they know when the cable bill is due" or "do they know how to scoop a litter box." I am concerned that in their deepest time of sorrow and sadness, the one person who has always been their biggest cheerleader will be silent and unable to help them. Will be unable to whisper the encouraging words of how their days will get better. Will be unable to give them that comforting hug they need. That is what I fear the most.